


Degrees of Fahrenheit

by Raiven_Raine



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Character Development, Drug Use, Friendship, Gen, Headcanon, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Other, Smarm, Suicidal Thoughts, This Story Has A Happy Ending I Promise, Triggers, implied/referenced non consentual drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:44:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6405583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiven_Raine/pseuds/Raiven_Raine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>*** TRIGGER WARNING!</b> Implied situations of physical and sexual abuse. scenes of PTSD.<br/></p><div class="center">
  <p> - - - - - - - - - </p>
</div><br/>okay, I'm not even going to pretend that this is a nice happy backstory...but i promise it has a happier ending.<p>i don't apologize.</p><p>this is my headcanon Hancock/Fahrenheit backstory.</p><div class="center">
  <p>---------</p>
</div><i>Life is a series of experiences. Everything. We are the sum of all our experiences. They shape life and make us who we are today in this very moment. Learn the lessons.</i><p> </p><p>  <i>Erfahren: To learn, undergo, find out…</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Fahrenheit. An archaic abstract concept that translates as ‘experience’.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>By degrees, she would gain it.</i></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------</p>
</div>*Mistress_of_Squirrels ... i thought about you and was urged to post this because of your feedbacks. i hope it doesn't disappoint, though it's incredibly dark and horribly gritty...it just wouldn't be me if it were light and fluffy.<p>i gift you this for encouraging me. ^_^</p><p>feedback is always important and encouraging!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On a Hot Tin Roof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mistress_of_Squirrels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_of_Squirrels/gifts).



>   
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> Artwork by [ Mistress_of_Squirrels](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_of_Squirrels/pseuds/Mistress_of_Squirrels)  
> 

  
  


  
_"Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your aquaintences will know you in a thousand years."_  
\-- Richard Bach, _Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah_  


 

###  **Piqued**

  
She rubbed absently at flecks of dried blood from her trembling hand as she sat cross-legged and alone on the dark rooftop. Her chest still hurt from the psycho bump she was forced to take hours prior to being allowed to retreat to her safe spot on the roof. Nobody knew about her safe place. She brushed a long lock of stray red hair back behind her ear with a bit of frustration at its unruliness. The teen’s hair was always in a constant state of disarray from being pulled or grabbed. She wasn’t allowed to cut it.

_You look just like your mother._

She leaned her head back against the wall of an adjoining building and squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her palms roughly against them to ease the tumult raging in her mind. She couldn’t stop the swirling images from the evening. She was forced to beat a man nearly to death. Why? For fun. 17 years old and she still disagreed with his ideas of fun.

Suddenly a figure dropped down from a window nearby, forcing another shot of adrenaline to spike her blood. She froze and stared at the man on _her_ roof. 

He ran a hand through his reddish fawn colored hair and smiled down at her, “Ah, sorry about that.” He glanced around briefly, “Didn’t know this spot was claimed.” He put his hands back on the window pane and gave her a nod before hopping back up.

“Who are you?” She finally found her voice just as he disappeared into the building. 

The man leaned back out of the window casually and looked her over, “John.” His dimpled smile made his bright blue eyes seem to sparkle.

The girl narrowed her eyes at him, “McDonough? Patrick’s son?” He looked exactly like a younger version of the man. She snapped her mouth closed quickly. She had spoken too much. Asked questions. She wasn’t supposed to ask questions.

“Yup, that’d be me.” He raised an eyebrow at the girl, “And I’d like to say that I didn’t have a clue how you know that, but the truth is I know who _you_ are.” He shook his head, “I just don’t know your name.”

_Everyone knew her face, she was the shadow of Death._

She clenched her teeth and remained silent for a long moment before speaking quietly, “Fahrenheit.”

He nodded to himself and rubbed his chin, “Well, Fahrenheit, I’ll leave you to it.” He planted his hands on the window pane and just before he pushed himself back into the dark room he softened his voice, “See ya around.”

The teen watched him go and stared at the empty window for quite some time. Nobody really talked to her and most certainly not as he had. He knew who she was and he wasn’t angry, afraid, disgusted or lewd. 

John had left her feeling confused at some unfamiliar emotion within.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
Fahrenheit stood quiet and obedient behind her father and three of his men as he sat at a table in the stands laughing with a group as they ate noodles and got loudly drunk. One of the men at the table was Patrick McDonough, who regularly dined with her father in Diamond City. Mr. McDonough had just recently been trying to help his son make a run for Mayor and it had been slow going since the family had virtually no caps to their name. Her father would eventually lend them caps of course, but at a hefty price that would undoubtedly be paid in blood. It wasn’t her place to let that man know about her father’s backstabbing tendencies, however. It hurt to watch people betrayed so harshly for no reason other than a drunken whim.

She glanced to the entryway of the patio and watched Pat McDonogh, which would be Patrick Jr., wave at someone entering the Taphouse proper. It was his brother, John. She watched Pat take his seat once more and she was suddenly lost in memories of the night John had interrupted her on the roof. She didn’t even know him, but her interest was slightly piqued. Her father said something and slapped her ass as the men around him laughed and she was startled out of her thoughts.

“Ain’t that right, girl?” He was looking up at her, waiting for some sort of response. 

She forced a smile, “Yes, Sir.”

He waved a hand flippantly at her, “You ain’t even listening.” He mumbled under his breath before finishing off his drink, “Stupid bitch.”

Fahrenheit swallowed and took a steady breath, “May I be excused?”

He didn’t even look up from his food as he waved her away.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
She opened the door to the Taphouse and quietly stepped inside. John sat at the bar with a woman who was giggling softly as he touched her hair. She absently put a hand to the right side of her own head and worked to push aside terrible hair pulling thoughts. He always grabbed her by the right side of her head. Fistful of hair, jerking her head back to force her gaze.

_What was she doing?_

Fahrenheit was about to turn and leave when the woman with John stood, gave him a kiss, then sauntered past the teen in the doorway. She turned to follow when she heard his smooth cheerful voice, “Hey, fellow roof-dweller.”

The slightest hint of a half smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she turned and pretended to only just notice him there. She cocked her chin at him in acknowledgment, but said nothing. He pat the seat next to him and held that charming grin that made his eyes shine. 

She found herself compelled to sit. She hesitantly relaxed into the chair and set her hands on the bar, unsure of what she was expected to do. 

He was watching her with a strange look of curiosity on his face, “You okay?”

_What was she doing?!_

“Yeah.” He continued to look at her. Was he expecting her to say something? What was she going to say? She was painfully awkward with human interaction. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette carton, turning his attention from her. He opened it and fished out some mentats, popping them in his mouth before proffering the carton to her. She eyed it and shook her head silently. John shrugged and tucked it back away with one hand as he motioned to his drink with another, “Can I get you something? What do you drink?”

“Water.” Her words were a near whisper. She cleared her throat and sat up a little, “Water, please.”

She sipped the drink set in front of her then turned the glass in her hands on the bar. He wasn’t forcing conversation on her, which was both relieving and slightly awkward at the same time. Her eyes fell on a chessboard sitting at the end of the bar and she stared for something to focus her attention on.

“You play?” John finished the remainder of his glass of rum and tapped it on the bar lightly.

“Hm?” She startled a little at his sudden question, “Oh...Yes. A little.” That wasn’t entirely true. She played... _A lot._

He motioned to the board, “Wanna?”

Fahrenheit wiped her palms on her pants, glanced over her shoulder at the door then shrugged, “Sure.”  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
She was more in her element now as they sat together at a table in the corner playing their third game. Fahrenheit furrowed her brow at John, “Thought you said you knew how to play…”

He poked at a pawn in thought then pushed it forward, “I do.” He pulled it back then reached to move another piece, “Technically.” 

Playing against him was akin to playing against a five-year-old. She watched him reach out again and she swatted his hand away, “Stop that.” She moved his pawn back to the first place he chose to put it, “Once you touch a piece, you’re committed.”

He sat back and chuckled, putting his hands up, “Fine, fine…” He watched her pondering a move and he nodded somewhat appreciatively, “You’re pretty good at this.”

Fahrenheit forgot herself completely as she moved a piece, “I’m _very_ good at this.” She looked him in the eye, “Give me a decent opponent and I’ll show you how amazing I can be.”

He pressed his hand to his chest and feigned hurt, “Ouch…” He moved his queen without much forethought and then quietly groaned as she immediately took it. He should have seen it coming, really. “How’d you get so good, anyway?”

She paused, turning the queen over in her fingers, “My father taught me. He says chess builds character.” She set the piece down on the table and stared at it, “He’s a ruthless teacher.” Fahrenheit clenched her jaw tightly. She just realized that she had spoken more to this man in the past hour than she had ever spoken to anyone in the past year. 

“Huh…” His bright blue eyes washed over her face in thought, “Perhaps you could teach me to be about half as good.” 

There was something about him that brought out a smile, “I’m not a miracle worker, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Girl!” One of her father’s men barked from the doorway, causing her to jump to her feet obediently as he pointed out the door. Her smiles were gone, her eyes cast down, and she had quickly donned her emotionless mask of silent resolve as she quickly left the Taphouse.  
  


###  **Between the Lines**

  
Fahrenheit leaned against the wall on her rooftop then slid down along the bricks and sat heavily on the cold cement. She tongued the split in her lip gingerly and winced a little at the painful bruise that had swelled up. This one wasn’t from a hand, it had been teeth this time. Her father had found it amusing to see her struggle under the man, who he had invited into the room to do just as he did. He had cursed at her for being too weak to get out from under him and, at one point, he had grabbed a fist full of her hair and told her she deserved what she would get if she couldn’t free herself from her attacker.

_She had won his little game...this time._

She held a gut wrenching feeling of joy in the pit of her stomach. It was fucked up, she knew it, but he had praised her tenacity as she stood over her incapacitated attacker. He hugged her. He had stroked her hair softly and called her by her real name in a loving manner. 

The full moon illuminated the town and the air was crisp and cool this night. She glanced around then stood up, dusting off the seat of her pants casually as she contemplated going for a walk or going to bed. Then she saw him sitting on a roof across the town.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
He closed the book he had been reading and spoke into the night, “Remember where you came from, where you’re going, and why you created the mess you got yourself into in the first place. You're going to die a horrible death, remember. It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind. Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms, and they'll call you crazy.”

Fahrenheit carefully climbed out the window where she mistakenly thought she had been hidden from him. She stood somewhat timidly next to it, ready to leave if he told her to, and she furrowed her brow in confusion, “What...?”

He turned to her and grinned, “A Richard Bach quote…” Her confusion remained so he shook his head and pat the ground next to him, “Nevermind.” He waited for her to decide to sit before continuing, “What brings you out to this hot tin roof, fellow feline?” 

She blinked at him and tried to understand what the hell he was talking about, but gave up on doing so and shrugged instead, “I was out...I saw you over here and I…” _And I what?_ Again, what was she doing? Why had she continued to look forward to talking with this man? She changed the tone of the conversation and pointed, “What’s that?”

John held it up and grinned, “A book.” He noted the glare she flashed and tapped the title, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.” He looked at it and stroked the cover almost lovingly, “It’s somewhat of a classic. Old even before the Great War.”

She crossed her legs under herself and got comfortable, “That’s a weird title.”

He nodded, “Yeah. It’s about existentialism.” As soon as she furrowed her brow again he added, “What it means to be human.” He held it out toward her, “Wanna borrow it? I’ve read it about fifty times.” 

Fahrenheit hesitated then shook her head, “Books are stupid.” 

“Ah…” He tilted his head and carefully set the book in his lap, folding his hands over the top of it as he regarded her for a moment. John smiled, “You can’t read, can you?”

She rolled her eyes, “I can read…” She wrinkled her nose at him, “Just like you can play chess.” She crossed her arms stubbornly, “But books are still stupid. They’re a useless waste of time.”

John sighed, “Are those your words or your father’s?” Her lips tightened and he nodded, “Right.” He tapped a finger on his book, “I’m not a miracle worker, but I could teach you…”

She hit him roughly on the shoulder with the back of her hand and attempted to remain angry, but just couldn’t manage it. His disarming smile was contagious and she looked down at her hands and nodded, “I think I might like that.”

“Liliana!” Her father’s bellowing voice pierced the calm night air and jolted Fahrenheit to her feet. He was standing out on the balcony across the way from them, quite obviously drunk and wearing nothing but a pair of briefs. He threw an empty bottle off the balcony and turned to look directly at her standing next to John. Her heart painfully skipped a beat in her chest as he pointed to her then angrily stalked back into the statehouse. 

John stood up and reached a hand out to her as she suddenly turned and scampered back into the dark window without another word. He stared at the balcony and narrowed his eyes, fingers clenching his book until his knuckles turned white.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **i often liken Hancock to a cat...
> 
> the imagery of Hancock pre-ghoul was taken from Bethesda artwork that i had found on the Fallout Wiki months ago, but can't seem to find now. i didn't make him that cute, he came that way!
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> Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep  
> was a huge influence on Fallout 4...especially a certain questline in the Brotherhood of Steel we all love to hate.
> 
> ** _Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah_ by Richard Bach is my personal all time favorite book.


	2. Fire Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fahrenheit knew what was going to happen next and she suddenly felt very sick. That tone in his voice noted a game was about to begin and the teen knew all too well she wouldn’t like it.
> 
> \- - - - - - - - 
> 
> "Rome wasn't built in a day" 

  
  
  


_“I wish I could tell you how lonely I am. How cold and harsh it is here. Everywhere there is conflict and unkindness. I think God has forsaken this place. I believe I have seen hell and it's white, it's snow-white.”_

― Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

###  **Fire Lily**

  
As soon as she entered the room she was greeted with a backhand across her face. Fahrenheit braced against it and worked to keep her hands down from cupping the blossoming red welt on her cheek. If she had shown that weakness, he would have beaten her until she either stood tall against it or couldn’t stand at all. _He called it conditioning_. Everything was constant training to harden her and turn her into some sort of emotionless rock solid thug that he could play with as a pawn on a chessboard.

“What the fuck were you doing with that worthless junkie McDonough cunt?” He stepped close to her and glared dangerously. 

_She would not flinch._

“Nothing.” Her voice was calm and even, though inside her body a storm of fear knotted her stomach. 

He grabbed her by her hair, “Are you fucking him?”

She swallowed and forced herself to slow her breathing, “No.”

Her father held a tight fist against the right side of her head for a long moment as he stared into her eyes. Finally he dropped his hand and straightened himself up, “Good. If you’re going to fuck anyone, it’ll be that other McDonough twit.” 

Fahrenheit failed to catch her shocked expression, but it only served to amuse him, “If I’m going to help him become Mayor of Diamond Shitty, I’d like to plant a fucking bomb in his bed and take that place from him quick as shit.”

Well, that had actually made sense. As horrible of a person as Vic was, he could make some smart moves. She nodded in silent agreement, though she cringed inside at the very idea. Pat was over twice her age and she didn’t like him very much. He was weasely and shrewd which reminded her of her father. That man was willing to sell his soul to the devil to become Mayor of DC.

He pressed his fingertips up under her chin and lifted, “Stay away from that chem freak loser, he’s a fucking piece of shit who’ll never amount to anything. He’s not even a pawn in the game…” His eyes washed over her face and lingered on her mouth, “Are we clear, my little Fire Lily?” 

Her chest hurt as she spoke quietly, “Yes, Sir.”  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
She was now expected to sit at their tables on the patio...right next to Pat. She wore a fake smile and touched his leg under the table, as she had been instructed. She had been instructed on a great number of ‘tactics’ to gain his affection over the past few months, which only somewhat worked.

When they started talking business, however, she was excused. Fahrenheit walked along the tables past three men who she knew to be Gunners, though they dressed appropriately to keep city guard eyes off of them. One of the men bit his lip and looked her up and down lewdly as she passed then he leaned to the side and whispered something to her father. 

_That would undoubtedly lead to something terrible later on._

Fahrenheit touched the door to the Taphouse proper then hesitated, as she had done the last three times they had come to DC for luncheons. She wanted to talk to John again. It was ridiculous how much she was addicted to his company. She craved those little moments where she could feel safe and human. She longed for those all too brief times where she could talk openly and smile. She dropped her hand from the door slowly, pulling away with a sigh. Her father had told her to stay away from him. 

Turning her attention to the city, she decided to make her way to the backside to find a rooftop to climb and a spot to hide away. DC was full of them. She easily hopped up onto a tin roof and carefully made her way around to a hidden spot by a window.  
  


###  **Stories**

  
“Hey pussycat, what’s shakin’?” John appeared in the window and nearly startled her off the roof.

She stared wide eyed in disbelief, “What are you doing here?”

He grinned, “I live here.” He leaned on the windowsill and seemed to quote something that only he found amusement in, “Of all the rooftops in all the world, you had to climb onto mine…” 

Fahrenheit stood up, “Sorry…”

John laughed and shook his head, “Come inside.”

Even though she couldn’t see the patio up in the stands from where she stood, her attention turned in that direction as she hesitated, “I...can’t.” 

He shrugged, “Make a way or make an excuse.” He gave that sweet dimpled grin of his then stepped back into the room. 

She glanced around nervously then took a deep breath and climbed in through the window.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
They sat together on the floor leaning back against the side of his bed. Fahrenheit ran her finger along a sentence in the book in her lap and paused. John shook a canister of jet and took a hit, held it in his lungs for a moment then spoke as he exhaled a puff of vapor, “Elephant.”

She narrowed her eyes at the book for about the twentieth time in the past thirty minutes, “Why does ph sound like f?” She smacked the picture with the back of her hand, “And what the hell is an elephant? What a stupid looking thing.” 

He leaned his head back and laughed as the room spun, “ph sounds like f, c sometimes sounds like s, sometimes letters are silent…” He smiled at her, “Gunna have to learn to deal with it.”

Fahrenheit closed the book and set it on the floor, “This book is asinine, I’m not a baby.” She leaned over and grabbed another from his shelf, “What’s this one?” 

He laughed again and plucked it from her hands, “That, my dear, is Shakespeare. You aren’t ready for that shit yet.” He eyed the old worn out copy of Hamlet and snorted, “Don’t think you’ll ever be ready for that one.” 

She glared, “I’m not stupid.” She took the book from him and opened it to the middle.

John shrugged and watched her with a twinkle in his eye as she blinked stupidly at the pages. She sat up and slowly closed the book, “Okay, fine. You may have been correct.” She set it back on the shelf and mumbled, “For now.” 

John leaned over her and grabbed another book. He held it up and smiled appreciatively, “The Devil and Tom Walker.” He set it in his lap and ran his fingertips over the cover, “One of my favorites. It’s like a better version of Faust ‘cause it has pirates.” She made a motion to take it from him and he pulled it away as he opened it, “Naw, you sit right there and I’m gunna read to you.”

It was awkward at first, she wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but after some time she sank down and leaned her head on his shoulder to follow along with the words as he read them. His voice was quiet and soothing as he told the story of greed and trickery.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
Fahrenheit had actually been able to say goodbye to John this time, which both relieved and emboldened her. Since she had gotten away with seeing him, she started counting the days until she could sneak away and see him again. She had tucked away John’s small book into the top of her boot and she smiled to herself as she walked back to Goodneighbor behind her father. She had really enjoyed the beginning of the story that John had read to her and she couldn’t wait to know the end, which must have been his devious plot from the beginning.

_That man was surprisingly intelligent._

When she got back, she was itching to continue the story, so she excused herself and snuck to her rooftop as quickly as she could. She glanced around nervously before pulling the book from the top of her boot. Smiling brightly at the thing in her hands, she sunk down along the wall and opened it to the spot John had left off. 

She knew enough to sound out the words herself, but reading was a painfully slow process and she found herself wishing he was there to read more of the story to her. Fahrenheit scoffed at herself for wanting to be read to like a child, but the truth was that she had enjoyed it. 

The teen snuck quietly inside after everyone else had gone to sleep and she tucked the book away underneath her mattress on the floor. For the first time in a very long while, she fell asleep with a smile on her face and pleasant dreams in her mind.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

  
“Well, at least you now have a shitty offense to go along with your shitty defense.” Fahrenheit casually waved her hand over the chessboard between them.

John laid his king down, conceding yet again, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

She started resetting the pieces, “What does that even mean?”

He flashed a grin, “It means how’s your reading coming along?” 

The teen held up a knight and smiled, “I know this starts with a K for some stupid reason, but the time when it’s dark outside doesn’t.”

“Mmmhm…That’s called a homonym.” He chewed idly on a handful of mentats one by one, claiming they raised his perception and made him think more clearly. It had actually seemed to work, although he had eaten an entire cigarette carton full of them now and that couldn’t possibly be healthy. 

She had brought the small chess board with her to DC two weeks prior, tucked away under her clothing so her father wouldn’t know, and she had boldly made her way to John’s house for the fourth time now. She was _supposed_ to be courting Pat, but he didn’t really show much interest in her other than the same level of appeasing pretending she had shown to him at luncheons. That was fine with her, she was more than happy to spend the time with John.

_She should have known her happiness wouldn’t last long._  
  


###  **I'm Sorry**

  
A loud crash sounded downstairs as the front door was kicked in and slammed against the wall. John and Fahrenheit both jumped to their feet, spilling the chess set across the floor. Before they could react any further, two of her father’s men ran upstairs and through John’s open bedroom door and grabbed her roughly by either arm. _She didn’t struggle_. Fahrenheit immediately cast her eyes down as Vic stalked into the room and grabbed John by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against a wall.

He pointed a finger directly in her friend’s face and growled, “You stay the fuck away from my daughter you worthless piece of shit!” He twisted his grip on the smaller man’s shirt and pressed it up into his neck to add an exclamation point to his words, “She isn’t for you...You will never have her. You understand me?”

He grabbed Vic’s wrist with both hands and clenched his teeth, but remained silent. After a moment the man let go and stepped back, glaring dangerously, “You look like a dumb shit. Fucking junkie. All them chems fuck up your brain, stupid?” He roughly tapped John’s forehead with two fingers, “Maybe you need the lesson beat into you so you won’t forget, huh?”

_Please no._

Fahrenheit knew what was going to happen next and she suddenly felt very sick. That tone in his voice noted a game was about to begin and the teen knew all too well she wouldn’t like it.

Vic grinned like some sort of predator as he moved next to her and lowered his voice, “And my little Fire Lily will be your teacher.” The look he gave her plainly read that this was a lesson for the both of them, “I warned you, girl.”

She couldn’t hide her expression as she made a nearly imperceivable motion with her head and whispered, “No…”

He reached up and grabbed a handful of her hair on the right side and jerked her head back, “What did you just say to me?”

The teen clenched her jaw and shook her head as best she could in his tight grip, taking back her single act of defiance and falling into line at his angered touch. He nodded sharply, “That’s what I thought.” He jerked her forward by her hair and nearly threw her at John, “Now do as you’re told.”

She balled her fists and bit off tears that threatened to show as she stood in front of her friend.

She whispered quietly, “I’m sorry…”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** every so often in the game Hancock will allude to being well read and, if i remember correctly, there is a bookshelf in the statehouse. i believe his open mindedness is a tell tale sign of him enjoying philosophy and other points of view so much that he would read about and contemplate several topics, even those concerning religions...which probably don't exist as they did before the war. 
> 
> furthermore, i can definitely picture Fahrenheit sitting quietly with a book somewhere hidden so she isn't interrupted. I had chosen Lily for her name because: _"The lily symbolizes humility and devotion. As the flowers most often associated with funerals, lilies symbolize that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death."_
> 
> **In the game, Fahrenheit can be overheard talking with John about plans of some sort and she freely speaks much more than she does with the SS, which was my inspiration for her only speaking comfortably with Hancock. here she is getting more comfortable in their relationship and starting to become a little more playful with chiding remarks.
> 
> quote from the wiki:
> 
> "...[Hancock] will describe you having a "devil take me" attitude. This could be a reference to the short story "The Devil and Tom Walker", in which a Massachusetts man makes a pact with the Devil for fortune. Tom Walker's last words are "the Devil take me if I have ever made but a farthing!"."  
>   
> 


	3. The Sun Will Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Fahrenheit thought the worst; _That he despised her_. Some days she was reminded of him by little things. Some days she simply hoped to see him again.  
>   
> 

  
  
  


  
_“We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.”_  
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 

 

 

###  **Reflections**

  
He stood in the doorway with his fingertips touching his nose and looking over the wreckage that was once his bedroom. They had ransacked his house. John knelt on the ground among the busted and scattered chess set and picked up the top half of the white queen, staring at it with an emotionless expression.

_She had broken his nose._

Vic had made a comment that if she didn't hit him harder, he would beat the shit out of the both of them himself. She had begged him to fight back, but he refused. She only hit him three times before he ducked out the window and ran like a chicken shit, disappearing for three days. 

_What was he supposed to do?_

He threw the queen away in his waste bin and sighed as he noticed they had burned all of his books. He picked one out of the refuse and touched the blackened cover. _The Devil..._ The only words that remained. 

John picked up a large chunk of broken mirror and held it up. He glared at the man staring back at him, “Fuck you.” He touched the cut on the bridge of his nose and ran his finger under one of the dark bruises under his eyes that the break had caused.

_Coward_  
  


\- - - - - - - - - -

  
She stood on the edge of her roof watching a retreating rad storm in the distance. She would probably never see him again. Why couldn’t she stand up to her father? Why couldn’t she just run? Fahrenheit looked down at the ground far below. Why couldn’t she just... _step off_. She put a foot out and imagined the fall. A handful of seconds before it was over and she would never hurt anyone again.

 _Least of all herself._

The teen sighed and stepped backwards, then turned and walked a few feet before falling to her knees. She brushed her hair back and glanced down at a puddle in front of her, “Stupid bitch.” She swiped at the image staring back at her, splashing it away only to have it seep back persistently. 

_You deserve what you get if you can’t escape your attacker._

She had to change what she was doing or she would never get out alive. The water in the puddle calmed once more and showed her reflection again. Fahrenheit glared at the face staring up through the muddy surface.

_Coward_  
  


###  **Fahrenheit 451**

  
_He was gone._

Pat said he had gotten into a bar fight and left town, which was something he had done a few times in the past, but she knew the truth of what had happened. _She knew it just then_. He had lied about his nose and ran away to keep her safe from her father’s ire. Perhaps he didn’t hate her after all. Or maybe she was just being hopeful. 

She was forced closer to Pat over the course of the next few months as he gained some popularity and connections throughout the area. Her father had told him all the right things to say and wrote out speeches for him. When the niceties failed, he would bring her in for coercion. 

_There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t think of him._

Sometimes Fahrenheit thought the worst; _That he despised her_. Some days she was reminded of him by little things. Some days she simply hoped to see him again. 

_Then one day her fears had been put to rest._

She stepped out onto her rooftop and immediately noticed something out of place. A brick in the wall was loose and small words had been scrawled over the face of it. She glanced around for a moment then knelt down to read the message.

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow...”

She smiled and nearly laughed. She wiggled the brick out of the wall and found a space carved inside. The teen reached inside and pulled out a book that had been concealed within. Her fingers traced over the cover as she read the title: _Fahrenheit 451_. She stared wide eyed at it for a moment before reading the plot. It was about burning books which had been forbidden. She felt a pang of regret as she remembered watching John’s collection burn. 

Fahrenheit stood and looked around for him. She poked her head inside the window, then watched the rooftops around her for movement. Nothing. She clutched the book to her chest and sighed as she slid down the wall to sit. 

_The teen held a little smile as she opened the book._  
  


\- - - - - - - - - -

  
He watched her sitting in the light of a full moon as she read. He was laying on the rooftop above her peering over the side with his chin resting on his crossed arms. He had some regret about running off, but he had stayed away for her own good. He rolled over and watched the moon leave a bright white streak across the sky. John was incredibly high on several chems. He had inhaled enough jet to kill a herd of brahmin and was surprised that he’d survived.

Over the past months he had tried his damnedest to bury the coward under a landslide of chems, alcohol and sex with people he had attempted to find some sort of friendship in. 

_They didn’t play chess and they weren’t interested in small talk._

His smiles faded in that time and his eyes no longer shined. He had started to lose meaning to his life and he frighteningly found that he didn’t really care. He had stopped reading, finding that the truth in books called him a hypocrite and a selfish coward. 

As of late, John had been visiting Goodneighbor much more often, which he knew to be dangerous. He hid out in one of the warehouses and sometimes slept there for days before heading back to DC. He had to get away from his brother, who had recently lost his fucking mind. All his focus had shifted to becoming Mayor and he had turned into a tool. A tool who had become tight with Vic. Vic the asshole. 

_He was going to kill that man one day._

John was startled out of his hazy thoughts by the sound of the man’s drunken voice yelling her name from the balcony of the statehouse. He closed his eyes and could picture her jumping to her feet and scampering off to his call. 

What Vic had decided to do with her would become a pivotal turning point in her life, which would change her into that cold hard killer he had been hoping to create.

_And it would come to bite him in the ass..._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Fahrenheit 451_ is a story which holds a plethora of quotes relevant to her life and their relationship...and burning books. 
> 
> "The classic dystopian novel of a post-literate future, Fahrenheit 451 stands alongside Orwell’s 1984 and Huxley’s Brave New World as a prophetic account of Western civilization’s enslavement by the media, drugs and conformity. Bradbury’s powerful and poetic prose combines with uncanny insight into the potential of technology to create a novel which, decades on from first publication, still has the power to dazzle and shock."  
>   
> 


	4. Informal Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newer recruits weren’t allowed up top. They were looked down on by the higher ranking soldiers and expected to scrap and contend with one another until making such a difference that they were noticed and ranked up by their moxy. Fahrenheit was noticed at first for being timid. She wouldn’t fight, she wouldn’t steal, and she never spoke to anyone. The small teen had become a quick target until they pushed her. 
> 
> _So now here she was._

  
  
  


  
_“The path to paradise begins in hell.”_  
― Dante Alighieri

 

 

###  **Let Go**

She climbed up into the back of the cart and took a seat next to one of the Gunners crowding the space. There were six of them seated around her, four more walking beside the two wagons, and two of her father’s men accompanying them.

Vic smiled as he closed the back behind her, “This’ll be good for you, you’ll see. You’re going to come back to me strong and fierce.” He reached over the top of the railing and placed a hand on her thigh, “I’m going to miss you, my little Fire Lily.” He tapped a finger on his lips and she leaned over to kiss him. _His kiss was not chaste._

The cart lurched forward and he turned from them, walking back into the statehouse without any more adieu and leaving Fahrenheit staring blankly after him. He laughed with them last night as they drank themselves into a stupor. He joked about sending her off to ‘boarding school’ or ‘college’ and mocked about this becoming a rite of passage now that she was 18. He made her drink with them. He forced chems on her until she got sick. He let those men touch her.

_It was a joke, but the joke would be on him...He just let his dog’s chain slip._

Fahrenheit glanced up as the cart stopped at the gate and she saw him there, standing on the taller roof next to her own across the town. He was silhouetted against the early morning light just breaking the horizon and she could see him watching her leave. He didn’t move, he didn’t wave...he just watched her go.  
  


###  **Lessons Learned**

The first thing that happened when she reached the Gunner camp out in the wastes was that her belongings had been taken. She could hear her father’s voice in her head as she was taunted by the soldiers holding her pack. _If you can’t get it back, you don’t deserve it._

She didn’t get her things back that night. 

The second thing that happened was that she learned initiates had to fight for their food. 

She didn’t eat that night.

The last straw came a week later when her third lesson happened to be one she knew all too well. One of the soldiers cornered her and pushed her down. At first, she just tried to get away, but then he climbed on top of her and ripped her shirt and then she snapped.

He needed three stimpacks to fix that mess. 

She ate that night and she had taken her things back the next night.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Fahrenheit had, by force, taken a place inside one of the small initiate shacks beneath the overpass. She sat in the corner huddling her bag and reading the book John had given her, as she had done nearly every night since getting it back. She ran her fingers over her forehead to brush back her hair and winced at a large egg shaped bruise on the side of her head. Beating the shit out of drifters, junkies and regular civilians was nothing compared to fighting against a militarized group of rabid dog Gunners. These soldiers were like a pack of wolves.

_Wolves with armor, combat training and weapons._

She turned the page and sighed. Several of the pages in the book had been torn out and used as toilet paper, which pissed her off beyond measure. When she had come across the man out in the bushes who had been holding her book in one hand and the pages in the other, she was spurred into a fury that led her to break nearly every bone in his face. 

Unfortunately, that had led Sergeant Baker to notice her, which in turn pissed off Tessa who suddenly viewed Fahrenheit as sexual competition. That woman had started making life hell for her every chance she got. Most often, however, Tessa was sent out on supply runs and when she was around she never set foot on ground where low-ranking soldiers lived. 

The following day, Tessa was on a run...and Fahrenheit had been placed with her.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Newer recruits weren’t allowed up top. They were looked down on by the higher ranking soldiers and expected to scrap and contend with one another until making such a difference that they were noticed and ranked up by their moxy. Fahrenheit was noticed at first for being timid. She wouldn’t fight, she wouldn’t steal, and she never spoke to anyone. The small teen had become a quick target until they pushed her.

_So now here she was._

She walked at the back of the group quietly as they trekked through the brush and rocks. Tessa was leading the soldiers. There were six Gunners and three initiates, counting herself, on this expedition to who only knew where to do who only knew what. Fahrenheit knew none of them, aside from Tessa, as they had come from the overpass and she never bothered to get to know the other initiates. 

_She didn’t have a weapon or armor._

Fahrenheit refused to steal weapons from other initiates and then she refused to take any of the loot from slaughtering a trade caravan. She was mocked relentlessly. The other initiates walking with them had an assortment of hodgepodge armor and some pistols from the caravan massacre, which made her stomach turn every time she looked at them and was reminded where it had come from. 

The group suddenly slowed down and crouched, stalking forward to the peak of a rocky outcropping. Tessa was looking at something in the town below through the scope of a rifle. She grinned, “Hell yes!” She tapped a man laying on his belly next to her and motioned with her hand to a building. The other Gunners started speaking quietly as they ducked down behind the rocks.

As far as she could see, it was a small town with some raiders milling about. Fahrenheit tried to listen in on whatever it was Tessa was planning to do, but the woman gave her a glare that clearly told her to back the fuck away. 

After some time, Tessa smiled at her and beckoned her over. 

_That smile oozed malicious intent._   
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Fahrenheit made her way into the town and snuck around buildings carefully. Immediately she climbed up to familiar ground; the rooftops. The others were given their orders and began clearing out raiders quietly as Fahrenheit acted as a scout. Tessa never told her about her intended target... _The raider outfitted in power armor._

As the teen made her way to another rooftop, A large metal fist came at her, barely missing as she rolled out of the way. It struck the corner of the adjoining building and busted off several bricks in a loud spray of dust and rubble. Her eyes widened as she stepped away and stared at the thing. A couple high ranking Gunners wore power armor frames with a few pieces of plating, but this one had a helmet, most of the plating, a frightening reinforced right arm _and it was not on her side._

The raider came at her again and she rolled once more. _What the hell was she supposed to do?_ The Gunner group was down below, if she could lure the thing to the side they could help her. 

_Or not._

Fahrenheit let it come at her again and again, dodging all the way to the edge of the roof where the Gunners below had a clear view of it. She rolled once more to the side and looked down below at the soldiers. 

_Tessa was laughing._

The woman held her hand out to the men beside her, forcing them all to lower their weapons as they stood and watched the unarmed teenager and the armored raider above them. 

The raider was now onto her plan and he waited for her to roll again before changing his tactics up. He stomped to the side and just barely caught her in the roll with the tip of his metal boot. He knocked her out of the roll and she fell clumsily to the side, ducking as that heavy right fist smashed through the ductwork behind her then yanked out with a loud screech of twisted tin. She scrambled to her feet and ran around to the other side, finding that the raider couldn’t move as easily in that large metal suit. 

She pulled the long sleeves of her shirt down over her hands as she ran all the way back to the side where the tin was jutting out. She grabbed ahold of the sharp chunk and pulled downward, using her boot to help tear off the portion. The raider came around just as she pulled it free. The teen quickly folded up one end in her covered hand and crouched down as the man came at her again. As his fist passed her head, she thrust the jagged tin shank up into the exposed flexi-padding at the arm’s inner elbow. It folded a little, but not before slicing then puncturing up into the raider’s arm. She ran as he screamed in pain before heading after her. 

Fahrenheit almost made it to the door. He reached out and caught her by the hair, pulling her back away from the doorway. She spun herself toward the pull and placed her hands on his fist as she was yanked out onto the middle of the roof. His right arm was dripping blood in large splotches that ran over the forearm of the armor and over his fist. She had cut the artery. The raider jerked her face upwards to stare down at her. _He was terrifying._ This enormous metal beast was every bit as physically imposing as her father had been mentally. 

Fahrenheit froze as he brought his fist around her throat and squeezed.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> several things lead me to believe Fahrenheit had spent time with the Gunners. i believe she was with the Gunners as opposed to raiders because the Gunners are more militarized and better trained than simple raiders, even though her gear is road leathers with metal armor sometimes found on raiders...and i'll get to that.
> 
> i will also get to a couple other things that should bring about some head nodding and 'ah-ha' moments as we spend a little time with our Gunner friends.


	5. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fahrenheit was done being cowed by that woman. She retained a calm face as she clenched the book in her hand, “You heard me.” .... She was going to do what she was going to do and she would not be afraid any longer. Either she would get her ass kicked or she would end this right here and now.  
>   
> 

  
  


  
__“You must burn. Burn higher.  
Burn for everything you have ever wanted.  
For everything you have ever lost, for every crack in your heart and every fraction of every irreplaceable moment.  
Burn high for love.  
For fear. For life.  
Burn as fast and as long as you can.  
You must burn, burn higher.  
Because nothing in this world will kill you faster than a dying fire.”  
― Mia Hollow

 

 

****

###  Still Alive 

****

The edges of her vision started to darken as the metal fingers tightened around her throat. All she could see was the face of that helmet staring back at her as the sky around disappeared. Suddenly a muffled sound of cracking glass shattered next to her face and she fell to the ground in a heap.

Fahrenheit gasped for air then started coughing painfully as she tried to get to her feet. She weakly rolled to her hands and knees and stumbled backward a few steps as she stood on trembling legs. 

_The raider didn’t move._

Hesitantly, she approached the power armor. Blood was still running down his arm and dripping off the metal fingertips, but slowing considerably. _He was dead._ She stepped closer and touched the hole in the eye of the helmet. The shot had pierced the glass and went straight through the raider’s own eye. 

Tessa and a couple of the others approached from behind her. One of the Gunners laughed, “Holy shit, she’s still alive!”

She grumbled as she trudged up to the armor and shoved Fahrenheit out of the way angrily. She examined the suit for a moment before removing the raider’s helmet and holding it up to look at the bullet hole through the eye glass. She stuck her finger in it as she turned to the soldiers, “She didn’t even kill him.” Tessa scanned the rooftops with a glaring look of irritation on her face. She yelled at one rooftop in particular, “You little fucking cunt! I’m going to beat your ass!” 

She tossed the helmet at a Gunner and walked to the back to open the suit. She yanked the body out and looked the inside over before stepping in, uncaring of the bloody arm. She flexed the reinforced right hand and laughed, “sweet, new armor!”

The Gunner holding the helmet motioned with it to Fahrenheit who was standing quietly to the side examining the bleeding gash on her hand, “Looks like she technically killed him. That cut on his arm would have done him in, or maybe it did before he was shot. If this shit belongs to anyone it’s her.”

One of the other Gunners stepped up and nodded, “She took on a suited raider with no weapons and no armor, I don’t give a shit if she took him with that cut or not, she deserves the loot.”

Tessa stepped up to him and shoved him back violently with her armored hand, “Like hell she does. If she wants it she can try and take it from _me._ ” And then, just like that, the argument was put to rest at the show of dominance.  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

When word spread that Fahrenheit had taken on the suited up raider with nothing but her bare hands and wits, she had been invited up to the overpass. Tessa had then vowed to throw her off the edge.

_Which would come to pass._

She discovered the top was just as rough as it was below, but these soldiers were tougher, well armed and ruthless. Fahrenheit had looted a dead raider from the fight this time. She pulled a chestplate and leather from him. Since that day, she had earned a little respect from a couple Gunners and even an odd sort of friendship from one in particular. 

As she sat inside a small rusted car, a kid about the same age as her poked his head in the window across from her, nonchalantly leaning against it. She eyed him and put her fingertips on the handle of the door she was leaning against just in case she needed to run. He looked her over for several minutes as she sat silent.

Finally, he narrowed his eyes at her, “You’re welcome.”

It suddenly hit her who he was; the sniper from her outing with Tessa. He had been the one laying on the hill next to the woman as they surveyed the town. She swallowed and cleared her throat, which was still bruised and a little raspy, “Thank you…”

The kid had a black eye, a split lip and a cut on his forehead. He had taken a beating for his act of defiance. Fahrenheit quietly added, “I’m Sorry.” 

He shrugged, “Don’t be. I did what I did and I’m not scared of her.”

She sat up a little more, “Why?” 

“I dunno. What she did to you was fucked up.” He narrowed his eyes again, “You got a name or should I just call you raider bait?”

She hesitated, “Fahrenheit.”

He smirked, “Seriously? Dumb name.” He made a motion with his hand flippantly, “I guess you can call me RJ.” 

They stared at one another for a few seconds before he pushed himself away from the car and left without another word.  
  


****

###  Motivation 

****

“Are you fucking serious?!” John stared incredulously at his brother as the man hopped down off the platform.

He put his arm around his little brother and it was immediately shrugged off, “I’m getting it done, Johnny boy. This is what works.” He motioned to the dispersing crowd, “Did you hear them cheer for me?” 

John glared, “The ghouls sure weren’t cheering, asshole.”

He turned, “You wouldn’t understand. You have no ambition. No direction. You just indulge in base hedonistic behaviors and run away from problems.” Pat sighed, “You’re high right now.” He motioned to the afternoon sun, “You just woke up and you’re already tracing…”

“Fuck you.” He crossed his arms to keep from hitting him.

Pat sighed again and relaxed his posture, “You know I’ve wanted this for years and I won’t let anything stand in my way.” He smiled, “It’ll be great, you’ll see. I’ll be the model mayor. I’ll keep this place clean and happy.” His grin got a little wider, “I’ll keep up appearances...maybe have some kids with Liliana when she gets back.”

John clenched his teeth and growled a warning.

His brother taunted, “I know you like her, you should support this union.” He stepped back, “I’m not really into her that much though, I’ll let you have her.” 

_John broke his brother’s nose..._  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

He sat on the windowsill with his feet propped up as he slouched back comfortably. John had been forced into the library by a light rad storm and he had rummaged through piles of old books until he found one that grabbed his attention. _The Art of War_. It had been many months since he was interested by books.

 _He needed something else to distract his mind._

Pat had gone to Vic after John hit him and that asshole turned it into a political move. Vic had poked at his busted nose in irritation at first, then amusement as he told him exactly how to make it seem like a ghoul had done the damage. They would cement in the idea that ghouls were dangerous and needed to be excommunicated from DC. The people would gather behind him for being their protector or some shit and it pissed John off that he had let that happen.

As he read, John started to feel his anger build more inside. This time, however, his anger was not selfish. 

_How dare those assholes do that to those ghouls!_

They were neighbors, friends, vendors...people just trying to live their lives like anyone else. They were not sacrificial pawns in a stupid game. Someone had to stand up for them. Someone needed to help those who couldn’t help themselves. 

John was suddenly startled out of his thoughts at the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Voices filled the large entry hall and he quickly decided it was time to go.  
  


****

###  Ignited 

****

“Looks like we’re staying here for the night.” Tessa pointed to each of the Gunners, “Go secure our position.” She turned to Fahrenheit and motioned to nothing in particular with a wave of her hand, “go scout around, girl.” She glared at the woman and Tessa smirked, “Maybe you’ll find me some new armor…”

Fahrenheit had actually been amused that the T-51 armor set had been taken by Clint when they got back. _Tessa had been pissed._ However, he allowed her to keep the reinforced right arm which was somewhat annoying. After Clint had taken the loot she thought was hers, Tessa started to spread rumors about him that he couldn’t be trusted because he was hanging out with the Minutemen. Fahrenheit didn’t catch all the details, but she had seen her father do it a hundred times...that man was going to betray those Minutemen one day and it would be devastating. 

She made her way upstairs and peered into each room until she came across one that had a burning candle on a shelf next to the window. Fahrenheit found no traces of people as she carefully slipped into the room. She poked at three empty jet canisters with the toe of her boot then glanced out the broken window. The candle was burned down to a three-inch stub and a book sat next to it. She picked it up and turned it over to read the cover. _The Art of War._

A large paperclip used as a bookmark stuck out of the side of a page and she opened to it. Fahrenheit read the line several times before smiling to herself.

_He had been here._

She was suddenly hit with a pang of sorrow as she imagined his dimpled grin and bright blue eyes. Though many months had passed now, she still missed him every day. She sat in the windowsill and opened the book, grasping tightly to this small connection to her friend that brought back a flood of fond memories. 

 

_“The general who does not advance to seek glory, or does not withdraw to avoid punishment, but cares for only the people's security and promotes the people's interests, is the nation's treasure.”_  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

She made her way back downstairs and found the Gunners piling books onto a fire in the center of the open room. She stopped and stared for a moment before approaching and taking a large book from one of the men, “Stop that.” She tightened her jaw immediately as two Gunners turned to her and Tessa stepped up.

The older woman narrowed her eyes, “What the hell did you just say, girl?”

Fahrenheit was done being cowed by that woman. She retained a calm face as she clenched the book in her hand, “You heard me.” RJ had it right. She was going to do what she was going to do and she would not be afraid any longer. Either she would get her ass kicked or she would end this right here and now. Taking heed of a quote about pissing off your enemy from the Sun Tsu book she had just read, she added, “Stupid bitch.”

Tessa lunged angrily and Fahrenheit stepped to the side and backhanded her across the face with the hardcover book, sending her sprawling to the ground with the force. She chucked the book at the woman as hard as she could before she could get to her feet and she followed after it. 

Fahrenheit got in a few good hits before the older woman rolled them both over and gained the upper hand. She knew how to get out from under an attacker, but Tessa was fast and relentless. She wasn’t trying to choke her or fuck her; It took her a few moments of struggling before she got out from underneath the bitch. As soon as she was on her feet, Tessa had already been standing.

The woman grabbed a broken leg of a desk from the fire and struck her hard across the face with an explosion of burning embers and flame. 

_And then, Tessa grabbed her by the hair and threw her into the fire..._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>  RJ ^_^


	6. Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing Fahrenheit saw before she fell from the overpass...

  
  
  


  
_“I am a phoenix rising from the ashes of my pain and suffering. Today I am reborn, today begins my growth and change.”_  
― Kaitlin D.S. Cammie

 

 

 

****

###  Born In the Fire 

****

She shoved herself up off the large pile of flaming books and rushed the woman, wrapping her burning arms around Tessa and tackling her to the ground. They slid across the floor a couple of feet and the older woman grabbed a hold of her fists as she lay underneath the girl. Fahrenheit snarled down at the bitch and slammed her forehead into her face before two of the other Gunners covered her with a jacket and pulled her off. The girl struggled against their intentions and stood up defiantly as Tessa made her way onto her own feet, wobbling slightly as she held a hand to her face.

RJ held her by the arm tightly as she tried again to get at Tessa, who was being held back by the other three Gunners. She jerked her arm free from the boy and she spread her arms out in wait. The sleeve of her left arm had been burned away to reveal a blistering bloody mess on her skin up to her shoulder and the back of her shirt under the metal chestplate was also charred into and away from red damaged skin. She had a burn on her cheek mixed with splinters of wood from the strike across her face that streaked blood down over her chin.

Tessa dropped her hand from her busted face and shoved one of the Gunners trying to detain her. She took a few more steps, the men stopping her a few feet from the girl, and she hissed, “I’m going to kill you…”

Fahrenheit didn’t move. She straightened her posture and spoke in a calm voice that held heat behind it, “I’m not afraid of death. I’ve seen hell...The devil himself is my father. I was _born_ in the fire... There’s nothing you can do to me that could ever hurt me worse than I’ve already been hurt.” She cocked her head, “So you can _try_ to kill me, I’ll be right here waiting.”  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - 

“You’re a fucking mess…” RJ was cutting away the burned bits of clothing from her arms and back as she laid on her belly atop a table.

She felt light headed and weak as she fought her body’s urge to go into shock. _The pain was incredibly intense._ As she had been standing downstairs in front of Tessa, it had taken everything she had to wear that calm face and remain upright as the adrenaline started to subside. He had given her the Sun Tsu book that she dropped from her boot in the fight, taking it and shoving it between her teeth to bite down on as he worked to pull burned cloth from flesh.

She flinched from his touch against a burn and dropped the book, “Just fucking stim it already! FUCK!” 

She pulled her arm away from his hands again and he grabbed her to finish cutting away the remainder of her sleeve, “Hold still, I’m almost done. I can’t fix it while there’s shit in there…” He pulled water from his pack and opened it, “This is probably gunna hurt... _more._ ” He picked up the book and stuck it back in her mouth then dumped the water over the burned skin, breaking blisters open as he cleaned away the dirt and fabric. 

Fahrenheit growled a pained sound against the book as she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched the edges of the table.  
  


****

### Just Like Suicide

****

The new Mayor of DC spread his arms as he watched the scene below out the stadium window, “I did it, John! It’s finally mine.”

John pressed his hand to the window of the skybox as he watched Vic’s men dragging ghouls from their homes, “Stop this... Call it off!” His brother had ignored his anger, his threats, and all attempts at reasoning. One of the ghouls in the street made an attempt to struggle and fight back, he refused to leave the place he’d called home for years. One of the thugs shot him point blank without any hesitation. He stared at the body in the street below and nearly whispered, “Please. Please stop this...”

Pat frowned, “You know I can’t, John.” He sighed, “Look, I got nothing against ghouls, but I have to do what the voters want. I can’t betray the people. This has been my dream ever since we were kids, nothing will stand in my way.” By voters, he had meant Vic. They manipulated the people of DC. Lied to them. Fooled them all.

He turned to to his little brother, smiling a wide grin that looked frighteningly predatory and hungry. 

John narrowed his eyes at him and stared for some time. This was not the same man he grew up with. Sure, they had their share of roughing up folks in the past, but never innocents. He snarled at Pat with a look that spoke volumes and then stormed out of the office angrily, disowning his brother from that point on.

_Fuck him. Fuck all of them._  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - 

He took up residence in Goodneighbor permanently, though he didn’t have many belongings since his house had been ransacked over a year prior. He had become a drifter, roaming around more often than staying in the warehouse where he hid from Vic. John had brought a few of the displaced ghouls with him, but they just couldn’t get used to the Goodneighbor lifestyle. It was a rough town full of Vic’s mob goons, chem slingers, scoundrels and all manner of depraved delinquents.

Vic didn’t run the town, the town ran itself. He didn’t care what went on in the streets so long as they gave him caps and nobody messed with him. John visited with other ghouls that had found little places to live out in the city and he brought them food for a while, but they started to disappear little by little. He knew they were being picked off...His brother had sentenced them all to death the moment he had them kicked out into the ruins to fend for themselves.

_He couldn’t save them._

The sound of a woman screaming outside of the warehouse had startled John awake one afternoon. He peered out between the boards nailed to the window and saw Vic and a group of his goon squad beating the shit out of a drifter in the street. Others stood in fear and a couple more were holding a hysterical woman back from the scene. He watched as one of the men brandished a swatter, further scaring the people standing around them. John held his breath and clenched his jaw tightly as the thug hit the simpering ghoul in the head and dropped him. He stared in disbelief as they laughed. Stood there unmoving as they beat his lifeless body into a mess just for the shit of it. 

What was he supposed to do? There was no way he could take them all on. Vic and his boys turned nonchalantly from the bloodied street and headed to the bar as if nothing had happened, leaving the other drifters crying and shocked behind them as though they were insignificant. That was what Vic had forced Fahrenheit to do, over and over and when she came back from her furlough, she’d be ten times as efficient. Who would she even be when she returned? 

_He had let her go._

Another bullshit cowardice thing he had done just like he stood here now hiding in a warehouse doing exactly nothing to stop that tyrant.  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - 

John ran his fingertips along the dusty metal table as he slowly walked the floor. He paused and picked up an old canister of something labeled ‘Prevent’. He turned it over in his hands, idly contemplating it. With a sigh he set it back down and moved further down the table.

“There’s gotta be something worthwhile in a place like this…” He poked around a few more canisters and old syringes before heading to the cells along the side. He peered inside one and was greeted by a feral jumping up against the door.

John stumbled back, “Holy shit you’re an ugly fuck.” The thing clawed at the door and started beating its head against the glass repeatedly. Pulling his boot knife out he watched it crack the glass and smear blood from a head wound. John drove steel through glass just as the feral hit again then it stopped and fell to the ground in a heap. He read the paper next to the door about this failed experiment and snorted a laugh, “Poor bastard.”

After some more poking around cells he came across one with a dead ghoul inside. He plucked the paper from the wall and grinned, “Ah, jackpot…” He read the side effects over a couple times before nodding to himself, “This sounds interesting.” He wadded the paper up and tossed it over his shoulder before jamming his knife in the doorlock to pry it open. The blade of his knife snapped at the hilt just as the door lock disengaged and he grumbled and threw it on the ground angrily. 

He knelt down next to the corpse on the floor. “Wow...how much did you take?” He laughed and stood up, turning to the metal tray by the bed. There were five empty syringes and one full sitting on the tray. John picked it up and eyed the thick green liquid inside. He sat on the bed and chewed his lip as he turned the syringe over in his hands. 

_He couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror any longer._

This would change everything. This right here would kill _that_ guy. Kill that coward he hated so much. Was he prepared to die? John laughed mirthlessly as he slid the needle into his vein. 

_Fuck it._

He sucked air in through clenched teeth then yelled as the drug burned through every inch of his body, lighting him on fire from the inside out.  
  


###  New Designation 

“What are you doing?” Fahrenheit approached the terminal in the trailer of a truck.

“Fuck!” RJ startled, then relaxed when he saw her, “Oh...it’s just you.” He turned back to the terminal and poked at the keys.

She looked over his shoulder at the screen, “You didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed and continued to poke at the keys in frustration for a moment before he finally spoke, “I found a command holo…” He flashed a grin over his shoulder at her, “If they wanted it they shouldn’t have just left it laying around, right?” 

She looked over at the assaultron guard standing in the corner of the trailer, then back to the terminal. “RJ…”

He grumbled, “Look, I gotta find some fucking entertainment every now and then or this shithole will drag me down.” He hit the keys with his hand as he was locked out again.

Fahrenheit pushed him to the side and selected a string of code. She pondered it for a moment then chose another and then got in on the third try. 

He stared at her, “Seriously?” 

She shrugged, “It’s a pretty simple puzzle.”

RJ rolled his eyes then pointed to one of the commands, “Reprogram it to that!”

She shook her head, “How about no.” She looked to the assaultron, “It would destroy most of the camp.” Setting the thing to police mode would only serve to hurt newer recruits in the end. _They weren’t all so bad._

“Fine then...Medic!” He laughed and imitated an assaultron’s tinny voice, “Hold still while i cauterize your wounds and amputate all your limbs! What’s that? You need a bandaid? I got your bandaid right here…”

Fahrenheit tried to keep a straight face, but his antics cracked a smile and she snorted a laugh. She tapped a command, “This one.” 

He nodded in agreement, “Hell yes!” He hit her on the shoulder with the back of his hand and laughed, “They’ll need it and the thing will come out of the truck…” He started laughing so hard he could barely finish his thought, “Help! Help! ‘May I interest you in this toaster? Buy this desk fan!’ Oh dear God help us!” 

She couldn’t help laughing at that. 

With a grin she hit the enter key and stepped back to watch the assaultron in the corner change its posture slightly as it spoke, "New Designation: K-L-E-0 'Kleo'. Fully independent small business owner."  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - 

Fahrenheit peered around the dark overpass to the patrols standing near the edge in the distance and as they turned she ducked into the trailer of the truck. She approached the assaultron with a little smile, “Hello, KL-E-0…” 

She popped the holo back into the terminal and clicked through the commands before finding something that had piqued her interest earlier. _Personality Matrix._ She selected it and spoke quietly, “Sorry RJ, you’ll have to find some fun elsewhere…” She read through different subtypes under the vendor heading, “Hm...weapons…sounds useful.” She loaded the matrix into the assaultron and waited to see what would happen.

KL-E-0 lit up and the blades that were her hands spun for a moment. She turned to face Fahrenheit and spoke with a surprising amount of personality, "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." 

“That...is excellent advice…” She grinned at the bot in the corner. Fahrenheit leaned back over the terminal and started typing, “So, vendor KL-E-0...how would you like to have your own shop…”

The assaultron sounded pleased, "Runtime Conclusion: Why work for the man, when you can work for yourself?"

Fahrenheit gave a little laugh and hit enter, “Indeed…” 

The bot’s bladed hands spun and her posture changed, “Destination: Goodneighbor.” Her tinny voice held an eerie level of humanity behind it as she added, “Sounds like the perfect place for a working girl like me.” 

She eyed the bot for a moment and suddenly wished she had gotten the chance to borrow John’s strange electric sheep book before it was burned. She suddenly missed him all over again as she thought about past events. She would be returning soon and she promised herself that she would hunt him down if he continued to hide. 

_Had he forgotten about her? Did he even care that she was gone?_  
  


****

### Fallen

****

RJ sat down on the hood of the car next to Fahrenheit and handed her a bowl. He made himself comfortable, leaning back against the windshield and crossing his ankles as he took a bite of his food. She set the bowl in her crossed legs and poked her spoon around at it for a moment as she watched the setting sun turning the sky golden orange.

He waved his spoon and spoke casually, “So...someone stole that assaultron…”

Fahrenheit hid her grin well, “That’s weird. Who’d do such a thing?” She could feel him staring at her. Turning her head slightly to see him glaring she shrugged, “Maybe it got up and walked away.” She flashed a grin and took a bite of the food. 

“Yeah...right. And maybe molerats will fly out my ass.” He ate some more and continued to glare.

She rolled her eyes, “You’re just going to have to terrorize someone else.” She licked her spoon and made a face, “You could pull a pretty good one by feeding this crap to some unsuspecting fool…”

He smirked, “I did feed it to a fool... _you._ ”

She sighed and took another bite, “Why do I continue to eat this? You keep bringing me this crap and it never gets any better.” She poked at a lump, “It’s ridiculously sweet…Who the hell keeps allowing you to cook?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I am an excellent cook! I learned from the best…” He pointed his spoon sternly at her.

She raised an eyebrow coolly at him, “Well then, perhaps you should apply said knowledge and make something edible for a change.” As much as she chided him, she cleaned her bowl every time he brought her something and ate with her on the hood of the car. 

Just as she finished the remainder of what RJ had called ‘chocolate mutfruit surprise’, the car was jolted as someone jumped up on the back then onto the roof behind them. 

She made to jump off the hood but didn’t even make it a foot from her spot before a chain was wrapped around her neck and wound around three times. She made it to her feet and turned just as Tessa hooked it and kicked her hard in the chest. 

_The last thing Fahrenheit saw before she fell from the overpass was RJ falling just short of catching her as that bitch caught him by the collar of his shirt and jerked him backwards._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MacCready's age/timeline, from what i can find, is a little strange and inconsistant...so i took some liberty with it. in this, i assume him to not have been married yet, therefore, he still cusses and is young and more childish. because of how he grew up, i assume him to act a little young for his age, even still to this day... "tunnel snakes rule!"
> 
> and here's how Fahrenheit got her facial scar...as well as bodily scarring which is why, i assume, she wears a long sleeved shirt.


	7. Fahrenheit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brown haired ghoul motioned casually with her hand, “So where are you from?”
> 
> John shook his head, “Nowhere.”
> 
> She smiled wryly, “I suppose you don’t have a name, either.”
> 
> He shook his head again. _That guy was dead and gone._

  
  
  


  
_“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”_  
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

 

 

 

****

###  Erfahren 

****

  
He held her by the hair and jerked her head back, “What’s your name?” His voice was cold and calm.

She grabbed his wrist to try and lessen the pain and stared up at him with tears in her eyes. 

_When she was younger and smaller, he was much more imposing. She viewed him as an enormous monster as he loomed over her larger than life. When he was angry, he was a colossal beast, and when he was happy with her, he was a sleeping giant._

The young girl didn’t hesitate, “Liliana…”

Her father took a drag of his cigarette then motioned to her with it as he blew whisky scented smoke in her face, “Liliana _what?_ ”

She clenched her jaw defiantly, though her face was filled with fear. _Please don’t make me say it! Please don’t take this from me!_ He narrowed his eyes at her and pressed his cigarette against the small hand she held on his wrist. Lily jerked it away as she sucked air through her teeth at the searing burn that seemed to engulf her entire hand. She had to swallow the scream of pain that had threatened to spill from her throat. 

His grip tightened against her head and his voice started to edge with irritation, “Say it.” 

Her heartbeat quickened to what she thought to be an impossible pace that hurt her chest and filled her head with the pounding rush of blood. _If she didn’t say it, then it wouldn’t be real._

She took a deep breath to steel herself from what would inevitably come, “Liliana... _Freiheit._ ” She had held the name close to her heart and the thought of it heated her through his cold storms of rage. The surname very literally translated to ‘freedom’... _and one day she would have it._

Her father’s eyes lit up with fury as he placed the palm of his hand under her chin and grabbed her jaw tightly, “You want to take your mother’s name...you’ll end up just like she did…”

“No!” Liliana’s eyes widened and she grabbed his wrist under her chin with both hands. It wasn’t very often that she was defiant, he had been breaking her of that ‘nasty habit’ for the past few years and her outbursts started to dwindle considerably. He knew exactly how to snuff out her disobedience. Usually, a fistful of hair would do it, but sometimes...it didn’t. Then he would put a hand under her chin and she was suddenly docile as her mind snapped back to a dark place and ice ran down her spine.

He put his face close to hers and lowered his tone, “Liliana _what?_ ” 

The girl felt sick as she swallowed the lump in her throat and nearly whispered, “Svechnikov…” Taking his name linked her to him. Giving up her mother’s name severed any ties she had left of the woman.

She couldn’t remember her mother’s voice or the way she moved. Lily couldn’t remember her scent or her smile. All she could remember of her mother was a handful of German words she wasn’t allowed to speak... and the way she looked the last time she saw her. 

Foggy eyes staring blankly at nothing, blue lips and waxy pale skin. Long red hair spilled out in a halo around her head against the floor. Her head was at an odd angle, neck twisted and broken, body dropped in a heap as a pile of unwanted rubbish. That was what she had gotten for her defiance.

 _Lily had been locked in the room with her body for three days as a lesson._

_She would never forget._

Her father smiled, though the toothy grin was dark and malicious as it slid onto his face like a thick oil. He slowly relaxed his hands and moved them onto her shoulders as he lowered his voice, smooth and calm once more, “There, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?”

She cast her eyes down at the space between them and remained silent as he cupped her cheek tenderly and kissed her forehead. Lily felt numb somehow. That name was her mantle, her lifeline...All she had left. He had stripped it from her…

Stripped it from her as he started doing with her clothes. She didn’t move, all she could do was stare at that space between them. 

Vic stepped back and she started to slowly come back to herself as he audibly removed his belt, “Pay attention, my little Fire Lily, I’m going to teach you an important lesson.” He folded the belt in half and snapped it sharply in that space she was lost in.

Suddenly, reality crashed back into her like waves against a cliff...cold and hard. He struck her across her upper arm and she immediately yelped and grabbed at the stinging pain. He hit her burnt hand until she let go. 

He hit her across the thigh and looked extremely pleased, if not downright _proud,_ when she stood against it and didn’t move to grab or cover the welt. Her eyes started to glaze as she attempted to dissociate.

He hit her across the face with the next one and spoke in an encouraging manner, “Stay with me, little Lily. Stay here in the experience...be strong.”

 

_Life is a series of experiences. Everything. We are the sum of all our experiences. They shape life and make us who we are today in this very moment. Learn the lessons._

_Erfahren: To learn, undergo, find out…_

_Fahrenheit. An archaic abstract concept that translates as ‘experience’._

_By degrees, she would gain it._  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

  
_Her neck didn’t break._

Fahrenheit had grabbed hold of the chain as she fell and it snapped taught in her hands then she slipped down under her own weight. She panicked for a moment as she was suspended high in the air with the chain tight around her throat. The cold metal bit into her jaw like fingers. _Like fingers…_

_She couldn’t hold herself up._

The metal hand under her jaw tightened with every passing second and she was painfully aware of every vertebrae in her neck as her fingers grew weak. 

_Get up!_

She couldn’t think straight for what seemed like several minutes but in reality, it had been a handful of seconds. Fahrenheit felt the hook just above her hand, loosely set over a link. She fought to calm herself against the torrent of fear that threatened to engulf her.

_Be strong! Get up, girl!_

The hook set tighter onto the link as she slipped further and little pinpricks of light started to edge her vision. Her fingers moved carefully as the muscles in her arms burned and strained to hold her weight. She fumbled with the hook for, what felt like, a frustrating eternity before it came loose and dropped down over her shoulder and hit her in the stomach. Fahrenheit moved her head carefully and one loop around her neck came free. The teen took a calming breath to steel herself and then allowed her body to slip down just enough to get a second loop off her neck more easily. Though she couldn’t readily look down under her feet, she knew she was far too high to drop. She would have to find the strength to climb.  
  


****

###  Lost 

****

  
_Euphoria._

As the fire in his veins died down, all John had been left with was a dizzying rush of utter euphoria. _It didn’t fade._ He made a clumsy motion with his hand to pull the syringe from his arm where it remained as he laid flat on his back on the cold floor. He wasn’t sure how he had gotten onto the floor or how long he had been there. His head lolled to the side as he dropped his arm and laughed. He finally plucked the needle free of his skin and slowly rolled over to get to his feet. 

_He threw up._

John groaned for a moment then shoved himself up onto his feet. He wobbled then fell to the side and hit the wall hard. He laughed again as he held himself up and slid along the wall of the metal cell to the large adjoining room. 

He couldn’t remember how he had gotten from that point to where he now stood and he had managed to lose who knew how many days somewhere in the mess of his high. Though it had started to dull, he was still high as fuck from finding a myriad of other chems along his ride and he found himself laughing when he ran across a mirror in the house. John pressed his hand against the mirror and blinked at the reflection. _His eyes had turned black._ He was suddenly transfixed by the image. He hardly noticed the large blistering mess over his skin that looked like burns and he ignored the balding spots on his head from chunks of his hair falling out. 

_Those eyes._

He was a completely different person. His once bright blue eyes were now dark gleaming pools of ink, sclera and all. Light was brighter, colors had somewhat faded in an odd way, and images slightly streaked if he moved too quickly. The only color that remained persistently vibrant was red. He thought it had been from the high. He frowned as he traced two fingers over the image in the mirror. 

_John McDonough was dead._

He pulled his hand back and touched his cheek. The blistered burn broke open and he winced from the sight, though there wasn’t much pain. He watched the man in the mirror in a disjointed daze as he clawed at a bit of flesh from his jaw down his neck. _That had hurt._ Even through the insane high he could feel the sharp sting of skin tearing.

_Was this what he had wanted?_

John had never really been the type to sit and ponder the consequences of his actions, past or future. Not that he didn’t think about it at all, but he hated being alone in his mind and generally found some type of distraction as soon as he got a little too contemplative. He pulled the mirror from the wall and let it drop, shattering around his bare feet. _When had he lost his shoes?_

A flash of lightning pulled him out of his daze and he had snorted laughter once more as he realized he was laying on the ground outside and he never even remembered leaving that house. Large raindrops started to spatter against his bare chest and face as he stared up at the green clouds above. 

_Oh, good._

John watched the sky light up above him as the rad storm grew more intense. The raindrops felt cold and slightly electrified against his skin with every wet splash. The smell of ozone and acid filled the air around him as he laid there in the dirt with his raspy unhinged laughter mixing with the thunder and rainfall. 

_Let the storm wash it all away._  
  


****

###  Blood Trial 

****

  
A large hand reached down over the ledge and grabbed her wrist tightly. Fahrenheit gave in to the exhaustion as soon as he pulled her up and let her drop to the ground. Her muscles burned and she was as mentally drained just as much as she was physically.

“Why won’t you fucking die?!” Tessa nearly screamed in frustration. 

Fahrenheit managed to push herself onto her knees, but she couldn’t will her trembling body to stand up and further rub her defiance into the bitch’s face. Clint had been holding Tessa back from RJ who sat on the ground next to the car. The woman had beat the shit out of him, yet again. She glanced up at the man standing over her who had pulled her the rest of the way up. _It was Sergeant Baker._

He glanced down at her and snorted a laugh, “Like a radroach, this one is…” He gripped her upper arm and pulled her up onto her feet unsteadily, “I think we need to keep these two separated from now on…” 

“I’m not afraid of her…” Fahrenheit found her voice and spoke calm and quiet.

Though Baker had to keep a hold of her so she wouldn’t fall he laughed, “Not you I’m worried about!” He grinned down at the girl, “Believe it or not, Tess is one of the best we have and I really don’t want to lose her.”

The woman took a step forward and pointed, “You can’t be serious! That little bitch couldn’t kill a bloatfly.” She spread her arms, “Let her go...she won’t get up next time.”

Clint nodded in agreement with Baker, “I’ve seen that fire in her eyes in others before...She’ll cut your throat in your sleep.”

Fahrenheit gave a tired mental laugh...that was exactly what she had been thinking of doing. 

Baker motioned with his head and barked, “MacCready! Get the fuck up and get out of here.” 

RJ grumbled and dropped his hand from the bruise on his cheek as he pushed himself to his feet. He dusted off his pants nonchalantly and held a disaffected expression that showed him to be merely inconvenienced by the whole ordeal. _He was brazen to an insane degree._ Though Fahrenheit wanted to laugh at the look his behavior pulled from Tessa, she took note of the danger it presented. 

Just as Baker started to pull her off in a direction she yanked her arm from his grip, almost falling over in the process, “No. Where he goes, I go.” 

The man stared at her for a moment then laughed, “You’ll make a great bodyguard one day, girl.” He motioned to RJ, “Come on, then.”  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

  
Sergeant Baker, Clint, RJ and Fahrenheit stepped off the lift onto the ground below and strolled casually through the firelit camps spread out through the area. Baker unfastened his belt knife and held it in his hands for a moment before handing it to Fahrenheit, “It’s testing time.”

RJ stepped up between the two of them as she was fastening the knife holster to the back of her own belt and examining the knife. He looked over to the Sergeant, “She’s good to go she doesn’t need to--”

“Step the fuck down, boy.” Baker grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him back behind the group, quickly shutting him up. 

She furrowed her brow at her friend briefly then realized something bad was about to happen. No matter, she’d been tested in ways these people could only dream of and she wouldn’t fear any lessons she was presented. _Not anymore._

They approached one of the large, much nicer, huts and Clint pulled a man out from where he had been sleeping. Fahrenheit’s eyes widened as she recognized him to be one of the two men her father had sent to the camp with her. They had never made it to the overpass, though they seemed to be living it up pretty decently down below. In fact, Yuri had been noticed by those up top but he decided he liked how things were going for him below where he had begun raising up a little side gang of his own made from the initiates. They were easy to manipulate. 

_This was becoming a problem for the topside Gunners._

He stood up tall and defiant, grinning down at Fahrenheit, “Ah...Liliana. Pleasant surprise.” His deep, slightly accented, voice echoed sarcasm. “What brings you out to my...humble abode?” 

Baker cuffed the man on the shoulder just to irritate him “How would you like to command a real group of your own soldiers, Boris?”

The large man eyed Baker’s hand on his shoulder for a moment before brushing it away, “Yuri.” 

The sergeant laughed lightly, “Whatever the fuck…” He pulled Fahrenheit forward to stand directly in front of him, “Pretty sure it won’t matter.”

Yuri eyed the girl for a moment then glanced back to Baker, “What do you expect me to do with that?”

“Whatever you want.” He smiled at her briefly before stepping back, “Just…make a show of it.”

RJ groaned quietly at the situation and Clint smacked him hard on the arm with the back of his hand, “What’s the matter, kid? No faith in your girlfriend?” He grinned, “Better put your money on her...If she doesn’t come out of it...you won’t have a bodyguard to keep Tess off your throat.”

Yuri clapped his hands together and smiled, “You and I, Liliana...Just like old times, yeah?”

She swallowed and focused her attention on the pain in her throat from the chain. This bear of a man had been one of the first that her father used in her lessons. Yuri was the one who had taught her that it only takes seven pounds of pressure to break a man’s kneecap, how to pull fingernails, and how to cut out tongues. He had been the first man her father had forced on her so she could learn _that_ lesson, as well. She had never been able to stand up to Yuri. When her father would use him against her...she would fail every time. _She was never meant to win against him._

As she stood there in a stupor about what she was supposed to do, he backhanded her across the face. Her head whipped around, but she didn’t fall. The blossoming pain seemed to ignite a fire within her as she turned to face him. Whatever RJ had said suddenly drowned out along with everything else in the background. He was just as quick and relentless as Tessa had been, but unlike that bitch, he had known her weaknesses. All she managed to do was to defend herself from his attacks for the most part, until he switched it up. 

_He would make his one mistake._

Clint and Baker had been slightly disappointed for the time until the Sergeant motioned with his hand flippantly, “If she’s going to be a worthless little cunt, we’re done with her.”

RJ yelled at him and Clint grabbed a hold of the boy, forcing him to watch what he figured would be something traumatic. 

Yuri laughed down at Fahrenheit, who was staggering from a quick punch to the gut. He suddenly grabbed her by her hair and jerked her upright, “Awe, little Lily...Couldn’t quite make it.” He pulled her head back to force her gaze, “It’s okay, girl...you can be my new toy.”

His laughter came to an abrupt halt as she slid steel across his throat one way, then brought her hand back to embed six of the eight inches of blade into his temple. As he fell, she yanked the knife free and came down on him again, stabbing him in the chest repeatedly until Baker pulled her off. 

“Holy shit!” RJ relaxed in Clint’s grip as he stared at the scene. Fahrenheit was covered in blood and, though out of breath, her eyes held a cold calm stare. 

Baker took the knife from her hand, which she released reluctantly as she wasn’t completely back from that dark place yet. He wiped the blade off on the sleeve of her shirt and smiled, “Perfect. I think it’s time we step up your game a little.”  
  


****

###  Kiddo 

****

  
Somewhere between point A and point B, he had stumbled across a caravan in the early afternoon...

“You don’t look so well, kiddo…” The brown haired ghoul handed John some water, “And this is comin’ from me.” She watched him for a moment before rummaging through a pack in her cart, “You do realize you're nearly naked, right?”

He glanced down at his torn pants, which had been the only clothing remaining. John shrugged and sipped the water. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate or drank anything, but he was strangely not really needing it. He plopped down on a fallen tree and stared at the ground as the ghoul turned from her cart and moved to him. 

She jabbed him in the arm with a stimpack and grabbed him tightly as he startled and flinched with a mumbling string of expletives. “Hold still...” She pulled the needle from him and patted the spot, “There, that wasn’t so bad.” She poked at a few choice tender areas on his skin, “I dunno what ya did, kiddo, but this is the fastest I’ve ever seen anyone turn. If you stim it up a bit it will go even faster...get it over with quick like pullin’ off a bandaid.” She stepped back and shrugged, “Least that’s what I’ve found anyway.”

The ghoul turned from him and put the empty syringe back in her pack as John poked at a quickly scarring patch of skin. The Stimpack had chased away the majority of his remaining high and the growing sobriety blanketed him in a dull burn of pain over his entire body once more.

Crossing her arms, she leaned back against her cart and watched John for some time before nodding to herself in a knowing manner, “I get the feeling you’re runnin’ from quite a monster.” 

He glanced up at her and snorted, “Naw, I killed him.”

She nodded again then narrowed her black eyes at him, “Running away is futile.” She motioned with her hand, “Even if you run very far away from home to a remote mountain monastery, as long as you carry the same attitude you've always had, you'll never truly get away. You'll just end up transferring all the stuff from home onto the other people at the monastery…”

John stared at the ghoul in surprise. _He had read that book._

She smiled at the look on his face and continued the end of what she now guessed he already knew, “Lots of people run away from responsibilities to ‘find themselves.’ But not so many of them have a real commitment to the truth. It would be better to find the truth in the life you're living, with the responsibilities you've already accepted. Responsibilities have a way of finding you, even if you run away from them.” 

He sighed and dug his toes into the dirt, “Didn’t stop for a lecture.”

She laughed, “Well ya got one anyway.” 

John rolled his eyes and turned his head to occupy himself with something else. The caravan was full of ghouls, he just noticed. A small group of them, about ten or twelve, seemed to be in the process of moving somewhere to live. With the exception of the brown haired ghoul he was sitting with. _She appeared to be a trader…_

She took note of his gaze and curious expression, “Headed to Bunker Hill.” She shrugged, “Well me and a couple others are, not sure about the rest...There are a lot less places for a ghoul to live as of late.” 

He clenched his teeth at her reference to what happened in Diamond City.

The brown haired ghoul motioned casually with her hand, “So where are you from?”

John shook his head, “Nowhere.”

She smiled wryly, “I suppose you don’t have a name, either.”

He shook his head again. _That guy was dead and gone._

“Ah, I think I had you all wrong…” her little smile nearly made her black eyes twinkle, “Here I thought you were simply running when it turns out…You’re searching for...something.”

He eyed her, the expression on his face was almost a dangerous glare. She was coming very close to knowing far too much about him and it was a little uncomfortable.

Her grin widened a little and she pointed a finger at him, “Look kiddo, I’ve been around quite a long damn time and I can read you like a book--”

“Stop calling me kiddo.” John stood up and handed her the water she had given him, making to turn and leave.

“Well then, man up.” She reached out to take the container and it suddenly exploded in a spray of gleaming liquid between the two of them with the sound of the muffled long shot popping from the distance directly after. 

One of the caravaners ducked behind the loaded cart next to John and the brown haired ghoul, “Shit! Raiders…” He motioned to a hill with his head as he pulled a pistol from under his coat.

John peered around the backside of the cart and sighed with some irritation, “Not raiders...Fucking Gunners.”

Another caravanner crouched down and ran over to them, handing John a gun, “Why are Gunners dressed up like raiders and shooting at a caravan?” 

He took the gun and motioned to the hill with it, “Because Gunners are assholes.”

The brown haired ghoul nodded, “They like to stir up business for their mercs and bodyguards for hire by posing as raiders and messin’ with traders and such.”

John eyed her for a moment then nodded, “Yeah, like I said...assholes.” The two caravanners flinched down as shots were fired into their carts and a brahmin bellowed in pain. “Those shitheads are fuckin' with the wrong caravan…” 

The ghoul next to him smiled an appreciative grin as she readied her own pistol, “I definitely had you all wrong…”  
  


****

###  The Wrong Caravan 

****

  
RJ elbowed Fahrenheit as he paused in his search of the horizon, “There’s a group…”

She placed a hand on his rifle and pushed it down gently, shaking her head at him. Corporal Ferris knelt beside her and motioned for RJ’s rifle. She sighed to herself as he handed it over and Ferris quickly discovered the group of people off in the distance. Fahrenheit felt a little sick as she noticed the look of interest on the man’s face. They had been sent out to procure supplies, which generally meant another trader caravan massacre or settlement raid. Every so often they would attack raiders, which wasn’t so bad...but they liked to prey on easy targets. 

Baker decided she would make a good addition to a strike team after her display with Yuri. He wanted her to get more kills under her belt. Apparently, he hadn’t heard about her refusal to kill innocent people. She wasn’t going to stop the rest of the group, however. _How could she?_

Ferris laid out a plan that she only half-heartedly listened to. She had already made up her mind to stay out of the fight as much as possible. If it could even be called a ‘fight’. She heard there were roughly ten to twelve caravanners over the hill, which put them at evenly matched by body count. It was pretty fucked up, however, a couple of decently armed Gunners could easily lay waste to any group of simple travelers. _This wasn’t an even match._

The Corporal smacked Fahrenheit on the arm, “Pay attention, private!” He pointed again, “You seven with the raider pieces will be over there and there while the rest of us encircle the camp.” He narrowed his eyes at her, “Got that this time?”

Fahrenheit nodded and glanced around her at the other soldiers. Now she understood why they had given her more raider gear. Of all the things, it was going to be a dupe run. What a chicken shit devious thing...A dupe run quite possibly pissed her off more than a massacre would have. Tricking travelers and traders, playing with them then slaughtering most of them and leaving one or two alive... _that was fucked up._ And she was playing the role of dummy raider. It was a position that would require her to defend herself. 

_She was going to have to kill those people..._

She held her breath as the signal across the way flashed. Adrenaline spiked as she heard RJ fire the first shot at the caravanners and she ran down the hill after it.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 99.7% sure Fahrenheit is German  
> well...i guess German/Russian because i said so.  
> Vic = Victor = version of Viktor. Russian. 
> 
> also...
> 
> the brown haired ghoul ^_^
> 
> ** so i just had an epiphany....anyone else get the vision of the brown haired ghoul as Carol from TWD??? ....she needs to bake some cookies. now we know why she is called Daisy. 
> 
> (i think i might need some sleep...)


	8. Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Red...you okay?” RJ paused and reached a hand out toward her side.
> 
> She smacked it away, “I’m fine...move.” 
> 
> He stood in front of her and pointed, “You’re bleeding…”
> 
> Fahrenheit glared, “I noticed…”

  
  
  


  
_“At the center of your being_  
you have the answer;  
you know who you are  
and you know what you want.”  
― Lao Tzu

 

 

 

****

###  Leadership 

****

John pointed to the ground beside one of the carts, “Stay down! They’re trying to draw you out of cover so they can--”

Three inexperienced, yet stupidly brave, caravanners popped up and fired on the advancing Gunners and were immediately put down in a spray of blood.

John spread his arms in frustration and glared at the others, “What did I just say?!”

He eyed one of the dead ghouls who no longer had a head. _One sniper._ The seven fake raiders took cover on the hill behind trees and rocks on two kitty-cornered sides of the caravan, one on the side and one towards the front. John turned and looked the other direction, scanning the opposite hill.

He pointed his gun at the ground toward ghouls hiding behind carts down the length of the large open road, “The rest of you fuckers gunna listen to me now?” Most nodded, a few simply stared in fear or confusion. “Good...cuz I don’t wanna die out here like this.” 

Well, how about that... _he really didn’t want to die after all._

“They caught us in a trap and we’re right where they want us...So our best bet is to fuck up their plans.” John watched the ghouls nod apprehensively in agreement. The caravan had three guards, but they appeared to be rather inexperienced in dealing with the current type of situation. 

The brown haired ghoul raised her hand over the top of the cart and fired a couple of blind shots into one of the groups of fake raiders, “I’m with ya...although I doubt I’m going to like what you have in mind.”

He shook his head, “No...you won’t…” John paused for a moment and gave a little half smile, “But thanks for the vote of confidence.”

He wasn’t a tactician by any means, but he was intuitive, clever, and had read a plethora of books that fed him little bits of knowledge on many topics. There were four Gunners in one direction and three in another. He had a good idea of where the sniper was and he had no idea how many Gunners were hiding across the way just waiting to pick off caravaners who would flee. 

_Gunners are assholes._

“We’re going to rush the sniper on the hill...by way of the four fuckers across from us...Once we take that hill we can use the rocks for cover and turn on anyone following.” John pointed it all out with a steady finger and was suddenly thankful he had read The Art of War back in the library way back then, though regrettably, he hadn’t finished it before being interrupted.

“You four cover us...then follow.” _Sure...that sounded good._ John was a little surprised at how quickly the group fell in line and grew emboldened under his charismatic confidence. He felt as though he was fooling them with the bravado, he was somewhat unsure of himself and more than a little scared. 

The brown haired ghoul grinned and gave a sharp nod as she reached up and pulled two grenades from her pack on the side of the cart. She handed him one and pointed to the three fake raiders towards the front of the caravan, then held the other up and motioned with her head to the four they were about to play Red Rover with. He laughed quietly as he took it from her and nudged her on the arm with an elbow in appreciation. Her level-headed demeanor piqued his interest...  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

They lobbed the grenades at the two groups and immediately followed up just as they exploded, sending the Gunners momentarily scattering from their tree and rock cover.

Time slowed just then. What took a handful of seconds felt like several minutes. In ten heartbeats, the group of ghouls had overtaken the fake raiders on the hill without losing a single man. The dirt kicked up from the explosion obscured them well enough from the sniper and the three surprised Gunners fell easily. Three. _One was missing._

The nine ghouls cleared the hill and the sniper was long gone. As they took cover and turned on the other three attackers back down the hill who had regrouped, one of the caravan guards pointed his weapon along the ridgeline they were standing on. Two others followed suit and John turned his attention toward their aim. 

Down the ridge from them, quickly making their way from the skirmish, was the sniper and a red headed Gunner. 

Red. Amidst the dulled colors of the faded blue sky, pale yellow grass, and patches of grayish jade green... _Red._

Fahrenheit. 

The guard fired two shots and John snapped out of his reverie, “No!” He pushed the guard’s hand down then raised his arms out to the other two, “Leave her…”

One of the men was reluctant to lower his weapon, “Can’t let that sniper get away...he’ll just hide somewhere else and--”

“I said no!” John rounded on him and glared, “I’ll deal with it if he does…” What was he doing? She wouldn’t recognize him...she’d kill him quick as shit and not bat an eyelash. Shouldn’t he do the same? What did those Gunners do to her? It’d been a year now and he was pretty sure Fahrenheit was no longer the girl he had met on the rooftop. John was angry at Vic all over again. He was also upset with himself. He wished he could go back and do it over again…He would be there for her. He would stand up to that man and free her from his tyranny. 

_He would free her._

The brown haired ghoul stepped up beside him and watched the girl and sniper disappear behind some large rocks along the treeline in the distance. She glanced sideways at him for a moment but said nothing about it. John was grateful for that, he wasn’t sure what he’d say if pressed.

She nudged him lightly with her elbow, “Hey...Mr. Noname…I think we best be getting out of here right about now.” 

He stared after Fahrenheit long after she was out of view and spoke quietly, “John.” 

She nodded thoughtfully, still looking ahead along the ridge, and she placed a hand gently on his shoulder, “Good to meet you, John... I’m Daisy.”

His face was unreadable as he spoke, “I know just the place for you, Daisy...I have a feeling you’d fit right in...” 

The other nine ghouls surrounded him, exhausted, yet exuberant to have won such a one sided fight which none of them should have ever walked away from. John had drawn them together and inspired courage within the group, which had empowered them. 

They had become loyal followers...and he had just the place for all of them.  
  


****

###  Sentinel 

****

“Hey, Red...you okay?” RJ paused and reached a hand out toward her side.

She smacked it away, “I’m fine...move.” 

He stood in front of her and pointed, “You’re bleeding…”

Fahrenheit glared, “I noticed…” She shoved him and winced at the pain in her side as she did so, “Go!” She had taken the hit because she had placed herself between the ghoul caravanners on the hill and RJ in order to protect him...she didn’t hesitate to do so and she’d do it again without question.

They circled around to the other group of four across the road, who had been watching but were too far away to make a difference in time...so they had remained on the hill in hiding during the quick surprise counterattack. 

“What a fucking shitshow.” Corporal Ferris and the three Gunners approached them as Fahrenheit and RJ made their way along the back of the hill. 

Fahrenheit stepped up to him and spread her arms out in frustration, “You guys get lost?”

Ferris straightened his posture and stepped closer to her to glower down at her face, “Stand down, private.” 

When she didn’t move, RJ touched her shoulder and tugged her back a little, “We coulda used some help out there…”

One of the other soldiers motioned with his hand in exasperation, “Not like we were actually prepared for that bullshit...since when do fucking _caravanners_ fight back?!” 

Ferris was clearly irritated, “This cannot go left alone. We’re going after them.” He pointed angrily in the direction the group of ghouls had gone over the opposite hill, “We’ll put them all down.”

Fahrenheit steadied her breathing and worked to ignore the pain in her side as she shift her weight and nodded, “Yeah...that’ll teach them to protect themselves and fight back! How dare them...wanting to live…” 

The Corporal hit her roughly on the chest plate with the flat of his hand, shoving her back a step, “Watch your tone, _girl!_ ” 

She glared and was about to step up in his face again when RJ moved quickly between the two of them, “I think she’s right, Sir. Let ‘em go. They earned it.”

“Earned it by killing six of our guys.” He counted off on his fingers pointedly, “Jeffrey, Michael, Steiner, Jared, Ray, Shade...They were your brothers in arms and you’re going to tell me they don’t deserve vengeance?” He stabbed a finger into the young man’s chest, “Either you’re with us or you’re against us, boy…”

RJ sighed and glanced down and away, falling in line... _defeated._ He couldn’t argue the point when he was clearly outnumbered and his life was threatened.

_Fahrenheit pulled him back by the shirt, raised her weapon and shot Corporal Ferris point blank in the head._

  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

The two of them stood together in the middle of four dead Gunners on the hill. 

“Fucking fuck...just...fuck! Why the hell did you do that?!” RJ grabbed two fistfuls of his hair in overwhelmed bewilderment then motioned frantically to the dead soldiers.

“You heard them…” Fahrenheit tapped Ferris’ body with the toe of her boot, “We’re either with them or against them.” She took a breath and leveled her gaze at him, “And I don’t take too kindly to people threatening my friends.”

She had found impassiveness in killing those Gunners. Calm and cold, Fahrenheit discovered she was a protector for those bullied and cowed people. She saw her younger self in RJ at the moment he had averted his eyes from the Corporal’s threat and angry touch. It was only a little frightening that she realized the role she took on and that she was perfectly suited for it. 

She suddenly envisioned a scenario in which she took out her father’s men and she knew she would have no qualms about it. 

_Fahrenheit just required a strike team..._

She started planning something in her head and was shaken out of it by RJ’s hands on her shoulders and his voice sounded muffled in her ears, “Hey, Red...you don’t look so good...you need to sit--”

_That was the last thing she remembered before hitting the ground._  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short, but really important...
> 
> well, they are ALL important, but this is the point they each find themselves.


	9. American Rebels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One ghoul bonus was the eyesight, the other was near immortality, which was just great because then he could look forward to a very long life full of shit eating misery. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Would it always hurt?_  
>   
> 

  
  
  


  
_Let our misfortunes teach posterity to guard against such evils for the future._  
\-- John Hancock

 

 

 

****

###  Thanks to You 

****

Fahrenheit opened her eyes groggily, took in her dark unfamiliar surroundings with confusion, and suddenly panicked. She attempted to get up and a hand touched her shoulder firmly. She grabbed it and twisted, and even weak as she was, she pulled a yelp of pain and surprise from RJ.

“Woah...calm down, Red! it’s me! it’s me!” He pulled his hand back and rubbed his wrist tenderly.

She slowed her breathing and glanced around. She was in the back of a cart and it was night. Fahrenheit touched her chest, noting that her armor had been removed and she was covered by RJ’s jacket as he stood guard over her in his undershirt. She ran her hand down to her side, lifted her shirt, and slowly traced fingers over the puffy jagged scar just under her ribs towards the back. There were flakes of dried blood on his hands. _Her blood._

He relaxed against the side of the cart and grinned as he tossed a red tinged bullet at her, “So yeah...you’re welcome.” RJ lowered his voice and added, “You stubborn jackass.” 

“What happened?” She stared up at the moon high above and placed a hand on her aching forehead.

He tapped her shoulder with the butt of his rifle, “Your dumb ass passed out from blood loss.” He thumped the cart softly with his weapon, “I snagged one of those carts from the caravan...and I know how you feel about taking their crap so i dumped their shit out first…” He shrugged, “I doubt they’ll miss the stimpack though.” He narrowed his eyes, “You’re a lot heavier than you look, by the way.”

Fahrenheit lolled her head to the side and smiled faintly at her friend, “Thank you…” She closed her heavy eyelids and succumbed to the overwhelming weakness once more.  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

John sat on a rock and pulled a jet canister from his pocket. _It was his last one._ He shook it as he stared out over the night washed horizon absently. Burning pain had cloaked his entire body from head to toe ever since the first stimpack Daisy had stuck him with had chased away his aberrant high. She had got him with another to heal up his bloody feet after they had all fled from the scene of the skirmish. He had protested her fuss over his damned feet… _The pain from those cuts was the least of his problems._

Daisy sat down beside him just as he exhaled his second hit and she spoke quietly, “What are you gunna do now?” She took in the scenery casually, enjoying the cool night air. 

He shrugged and stared down at the canister in his hands as he fidgeted with it, “Dunno…”

She glanced down at the chem and motioned slightly with her head, “That’s a shame...You could do with an unobscured walk through your own mind.”

“What do you care?” He chucked the empty container into the distance with a little irritation at her truthful words. 

The sleeve of the oversized shirt Daisy gave to him fell down and he had given up on trying to push it up his forearm again. She turned towards him, tugged the sleeve straight and started rolling it up his forearm properly as she spoke, “I think the world needs more folks like you.” She reached for his other arm and pulled the sleeve as he rolled his eyes towards her actions. She began tucking the cuff and gave a small little smile, “More folks like the man you’re capable of being.” 

John narrowed his eyes as he regarded her, “How do you know what I’m capable of?” 

Daisy patted his arm, “I’ve seen your type before...I can spot a caring passionate soul a mile away.” She glanced down for a moment and the look in her black eyes fell somewhere distant as her smile filled with mirthless sorrow at an old memory.

She reached into the inside pocket of her jacket and pulled out a small black tin. She held it for a moment, turning it over in her hands then running her thumb over an etched picture on the lid. Handing it to John, Daisy spoke with a more serious tone, “I want you to have this.”

Hesitating, he eyed the tin for several seconds before reaching out and taking it. He glanced up at her as he held it in one hand, giving her the opportunity to take it back, “You sure?” It seemed like something that had been important to her. 

“I don’t need it anymore.” She was quiet as she watched him set it in his lap and trace his fingertips over the lid. 

The edges were worn, it was old... Pre-war, perhaps. The etching was very detailed and painted with some sort of clear coat to keep scratches at a minimum. It was well taken care of. John’s fingers ran over the face of, what looked like a ghoul, and two skulls in a circular design. It reminded him of something one would see on some sort of flag and he was strangely captivated by it. He rubbed his thumb lightly over the words over the top of the circle, _Don’t Tread On Me,_ then the bottom of the etching, _American Rebels._ Inside the picture were small words, _Sons of Liberty._

When he tilted it, an object inside slid quietly and tapped against the side. As John set his thumb to open the lid, Daisy placed her hand on top of his and shook her head, “Not yet. Open it later.”

He furrowed his brow at her for a moment before tucking the little tin away into one of the black boots she had insisted he wear. John gave her his best smile, though it was laced with exhaustion, “Thank you...For everything.”  
  


****

###  Preface 

****

_He was going to kill that man._

John wasn’t quite sure how he was going to go about it, but he had decided that Victor Svechnikov was a walking corpse who simply hadn’t had the good sense to lay the fuck down yet. 

It felt good to have some sort of solid goal in mind, even without the steps to achieve it. He may have felt a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach for gathering those caravanners together for a half baked plan he never told them about, or that feeling could have been the slithering nausea of withdrawals. _They felt surprisingly similar._

He’d worry over it later, right now John had another task...

 _Emptying the bottle of Daytripper he had found._

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he had been eating small handfuls of the chem to ease the pain that crept through his nerves like tiny strangling vines. The pills would help for a few good minutes, then they would make his stomach knot up, so he ate more in order to untie said stomach knot, which only served to put him in a hellish circle of near overdose. Chems were the more comfortable and simple solution to his pain, which Daisy had told him to ‘suck up’ and ‘tough out’. 

_What the hell did she know, anyway?_

He had only just returned to Goodneighbor from his drug fueled sabbatical and, finding that Vic and his hellhounds had stayed in DC for the night, he had wandered into the Old Statehouse and down into the basement. On his way through town, John felt as though nothing had really changed. The place still held that strange apprehensive silence around it like a terrible shroud of fear and sorrow. _Killing that fucker wouldn’t be enough, some other ass would just sit in that seat._

Wasn’t he supposed to have had some sort of sudden life altering epiphany on his misadventure? Where was the phoenix suddenly rising out of the ashes of his past, born all shiny and new and full of happiness? He had murdered that asshole John McDonough and all he had to show for it was a blank chapter in his book of life and a soul-crushing case of writer’s block. _Poetic._

_Rome wasn’t built in a day._

“Of course it wasn’t.” John narrowed his eyes in a futile attempt to glare at his own internal monolog. He turned the empty chem bottle over and shook it, hoping more would somehow magically appear. When none did, as he already knew they wouldn’t, he chucked it across the room. 

_May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far._

“Thanks, dad...Nobody asked you.” John sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands to scrub away the image of his father standing in front of him spouting off archaic Irish proverbs. He pushed himself over onto his knees and stood up slowly, peering through the dark room. He had lit a lantern and found that the thing illuminated the entire room as well as seventeen lanterns would have. One ghoul bonus was the eyesight, the other was near immortality, which was just great because then he could look forward to a very long life full of shit eating misery. 

_Would it always hurt?_

With a sigh, he trailed his fingertips along a dusty shelf as he walked further into the storage room. There had to be something else in this damn place that would help him through the bullshit pain he felt. Something. Anything. The place had been turned into a museum long ago, and when the goon squad moved in they had taken nearly everything from the floors above and shoved it all haphazardly into the basement. 

He knocked a globe off the shelf and found a canister of jet behind it. Grinning to himself, he reached out to grab it and his fingers fell on empty space. John pounded his fist against the wood and groaned to himself. _Hallucinating. Icing on the shit cake…_

“Give me something!” He turned and kicked the globe angrily, sending it sailing through the room to crash into a loose pile of junk across from where he stood. A few broken boards slid and fell, knocking over an empty bookshelf that was already teetering precariously atop a small table. The little bookshelf crashed into a glass display case, sending everything that had been piled on top of it tumbling down to the ground in a cacophonous racket. John winced at the clattering sounds as a few more items shifted and fell, knocking over yet more crap like the world’s worst domino effect. He futilely attempted to fan away the enormous dust cloud from in front of his face as he coughed a few times. The cloud swirled then slowly started to settle and John cautiously opened one eye then the other to examine the fallout.

_Red._

_It beckoned him like a moth to a flame._  
  


****

###  Stubborn 

****

They had made good on their plan to keep Tessa and Fahrenheit separated, which was a little disappointing since Fahrenheit had planned to kill her when she returned to the camp…pity that the woman had been sent on a run.

Shooting Ferris and killing those Gunners on the hill had been surprisingly easy. Lying about what had happened was also easy. It was all part of a game and Fahrenheit was very good at games... _given a decent opponent._

“Come with me.” Fahrenheit spoke quietly as RJ climbed into the back of the car next to her.

He shrugged and made himself comfortable, “I dunno...I kinda got a thing going here.” 

She raised an eyebrow at her friend, “You could have a thing going anywhere, you know.”

RJ picked absently at a rip in the fabric of the back of the front seat, “Yeah...but I--”

“But you nothing…” She leveled her gaze at him and touched his shoulder, “I can’t keep you safe if I go home and you stay here.” She dropped her hand and reiterated quietly, “I can’t keep you safe.” 

He narrowed his eyes a little, “I don’t need your help...I was able before you got up here and I will be able after you leave. I’m not a fucking invalid.” He tapped her on the thigh with the back of his hand and flashed a grin, “Besides, it seems to be that I’m the one always patching up your broke ass so if anyone needs help it’s you, Raider Bait.”

The stern expression on her face melted into a little smile as she shook her head, “Of course. And how will I live without your wonderful cooking and clever witticisms?” 

The two of them chuckled quietly, a hint of forlorn discomfort edging the atmosphere around them like a thin haze. They were spending their last moments together and neither knew if they would ever see one another again. It was no use trying to get RJ to go to Goodneighbor with her, he never asked for help or took handouts...Yet he called her the stubborn one. 

_She was._

_They both had been._  
  


****

###  John Hancock

****

He pressed his fingertips against the glass case that had been hidden in the disorganized mess of the storage room until moments ago.

_John Hancock, first American hoodlum and defender of the people._

“You wouldn’t have stood for this shit, would ya?” John smirked at the bright red jacket in the display case. He glanced around for a moment then plucked a broken board up from the wreckage of the room. Tapping it against the palm of his hand, John gave a little smile, “Think I just found myself…”

Not even hesitating, he smashed the glass case and reached inside. 

He held the red jacket in his hands and stood transfixed as fleeting thoughts spun through his addled mind. 

_Once you touch a piece, you’re committed._

“I should have been committed long ago.” He nodded at words from his memories that he could hear speaking against his mangled ears plain as day. 

He was all too happy to slough the oversized shirt he had been wearing. The white undershirt, vest and vivid red jacket almost fit him perfectly. Almost. John brushed the shoulders off and grinned, standing up a little straighter. He rummaged through an armoire and found a new pair of pants to replace the torn ones he had been wearing. As he kicked off his boots, the little black tin tumbled out and lay on the floor with the etching grinning up at him.

He changed the pants and sat down on the cold cement floor, scooping up the tin, “Sons of Liberty.” With a chuckle, he set his thumb to open it. John pulled out a bit of paper and read it three times to focus his spinning brain on the sentence…

_“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”_

The writing was somewhat faded and old but the item inside was new, however. John tucked the paper back into the tin and laughed as he pulled out a single canister of addictol. “Thanks, Daisy…”

John turned the canister over in his hands. _The pain would come back._ He touched his fingertips to the bridge of his nose and trailed down the bone to the spot where the cartilage had rotted off. That had been a terrible experience. He crossed his eyes and smirked at how strange it was that he couldn’t see the tip of his nose any longer. _The pain would come back._ Daisy said it would get better. He needed to be clear headed for what he wanted to achieve. With a sigh, he shook the canister, gave it one last apprehensive glance, then put it to his mouth. 

_And the pain came rushing back._  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

John Hancock leaned back against the wall casually and furrowed his brow at the assaultron standing across the town entrance behind the counter of its shop. _It had a shop._ That had been one of the strangest things he had seen in awhile.

“Should we trust that thing?” Hamton, one of the guards from the caravan fight, motioned subtly with his head at the imposing bot in the stall. 

Two of the other ghouls from the caravan paused in their work of cleaning out the empty shop next to the one in question and they approached Hancock, idly relaxing for a moment. John had invited them to live in Goodneighbor and then made a silent promise to himself that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to them. He wasn’t sure if he could keep that promise, but _Hancock_ would die trying.

_The best part about becoming an entirely new person was writing all new chapters in a blank book of life._

“Best keep an eye on it...I don’t even know where the hell it came from.” John stared blatantly at the assaultron to emphasize the point that he would be closely watching it. The ghouls around him visibly relaxed, taking some form of comfort in his presence. 

Daisy and the rest of the caravanners had gone to Bunker Hill and were headed back to Goodneighbor any time now. John pushed himself from the wall and walked through the empty shop that would be hers. He smiled as he ran his hands over the counter top, she’d love it. No longer a caravan trader, she would have her own place. A good beginning to the thanks he felt he had owed her. 

Ham tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, boss…” 

“You don’t have to call me that…” Hancock turned around to see three of Vic’s goons standing in the entrance of the shop with shit-eating grins plastered on their faces like a pack of wolves who had just found some rabbits. 

One of them twirled a red stained barbed swatter in his hand flagrantly then pointed it at Hancock, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Think I just found myself..." <3
> 
> Fahrenheit will be coming back next chapter... little does she know that the last time she had seen John's dimpled grin and bright blue eyes would have been her last...
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> interestingly, addictol is rare in the game and Daisy sells it! awww, she must keep it around just for lost souls who need to find themselves... and times when Hancock needs "an unobscured walk through his mind" 


	10. Dog Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nice weapon, kiddo.” Daisy leaned on the counter and motioned casually with her hand. 
> 
> Hancock ran his thumb sideways over the sharp blade and nodded in agreement. He was already greatly attached to the knife Fahren had given him. Funny how they had gone from playing board games and reading books to her arming him.  
>   
> 

  
  
  


  
_“It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill.”_  
― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls 

 

 

 

****

###  Bravado 

****

John spread his hands, “Setting up shop...what the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” He made it a point to draw all attention to him instead of the other ghouls with him. The impulsive words came out with much more confidence than he felt in that moment.

The man narrowed his eyes and looked him up and down for a handful of stomach knotting seconds. “You’re mouthy. What’s your name?”

“Hancock.” He continued to stand in a relaxed manner as he stared the man down. John watched the thug shift his weight then glance around at the other ghouls. It occurred to him, amusingly, that his black eyes must be completely unnerving. 

“You…” Vic’s dog pointed the bat towards Ham standing next to John, “What’s your name?” He made it a point to avoid further eye contact with Hancock as he turned his attention to a weaker looking target.

Hamton opened his mouth to reply and John cut him off, placing a hand firmly on his chest to move him back. “His name is none of your fuckin' business.” The asshole turned his angered glare back to Hancock. It took quite a bit of fortitude to stand there and it made John feel a little sick. This was chapter one of his new life and he would start it out with a bang. Or a bashed in skull. That would be a painfully short book…

The man twirled the bat in his hand menacingly and glowered, “Everything in this town is my business.” He raised the bat to take a swing. 

John took a breath and waited for it. He might not be the strongest, but he was quick. He could dodge it easy enough. _But then what?_ He never did think that far ahead. 

A female ghoul from behind the men pierced the tension, “That’s enough of that.”

The dogs turned around and froze at the sight of the group of ghouls that had come up from behind. Daisy stood in the front with her arms crossed over her chest and a menacing look on her face. The look even gave Hancock pause. There was something about her, something dangerous that she had kept hidden behind her motherly demeanor. He was glad she was on his side.

The bat-wielding asshole turned his head toward John and pointed a finger, “You and me...we’re gunna have a talk…” He glanced around at the ghouls and lowered his voice, “Later.” The words he didn’t say were plain as day... _You can’t hide behind your ghouls forever and once I find you alone...you’re done._  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

John rested his folded arms on the window sill and watched the square down below. _She’d returned._ Fahrenheit stood with four Gunners in front of the statehouse as Vic and three of his goons came out to greet them. Hancock stared down at the interaction with a dark expression as her father looked her over, lifting her chin in a tight grip to examine something on her face. His look of irritation faded quickly and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. She remained in place with a stoic expression as he stood close and idly removed her armor while talking to the men. He handed her chest plate over to one of his dogs then pat her on the chest with a triumphant grin. Vic motioned with one hand to the bar and escorted her along with the group.

_The look on her face was cold and unreadable._

She’d changed a lot over the past year. Of course, so had John. He touched his fingertips to his jaw lightly and sighed. They were both completely different people. He missed the times they had spent together. The times they played chess and read books. Those brief hours where they had simply sat on the rooftops enjoying one another’s company without any expectations. He’d never had a friend like that and he was pretty sure he never would again. 

He pushed himself away from the window and fell into a chair. Perhaps they should just meet all over again. Redo the whole thing. He was a ghoul now, nobody could recognize him, she wouldn’t either. Or he could simply avoid her altogether. _Sorry I killed your friend._ He gave a mirthless laugh and shook his head. Hancock sat in the chair for a while thinking over scenarios in his head. Forethought was never his strong suit, however, and he decided to just wing it. He stood and smoothed out his red jacket then headed down to the bar.  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Vic set a drink in front of Fahrenheit, which she made no motion to take. He was talking and laughing with the Gunners about her time spent with them. He plucked her drink from the table and leaned back in his seat, placing an arm around her shoulders. “You did pretty well for yourself, Liliana.” He held the drink out in front of her with a commanding look as he added, “Be happy and celebrate.”

She hesitated then slowly reached up and took the glass from him. He stared at her expectantly until she took a sip of the whiskey. She reached forward to set it down on the table again and her father placed two fingers on the bottom, raising it back to her mouth. She flinched back as he forced her to drink it.

He laughed and leaned close, “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Fahrenheit boldly raised her eyes to his for a handful of seconds before she lost her nerve and looked away. She still couldn’t do it. _Anyone else but him._

The man glanced around the room at some ghouls sitting at tables drinking quietly. He grinned and thumbed over his shoulder to a random drifter, “Maybe later on she can show us something she’d learned.” The girl visibly held her breath at the very idea. 

One of Vic’s goons leaned over and whispered something in his ear then motioned with his head to one ghoul in particular who was sitting in the corner wearing a bright red jacket. The man turned and scowled at the drifter, mulling something over in his head. _Something undoubtedly unpleasant._ His attention turned back to the group and they continued their celebration. 

The more they drank, the louder they got. The louder they got, the more Fahrenheit itched to get away from them. She started feeling sick from the whiskey he continued to force on her until he forgot about it and let her be. His hand had been on her thigh and she glared down through the table as if she could will it away with her thoughts. It didn’t work, of course. He slid his hand up higher and she suddenly stood up, nearly falling from the quick movement that spun the room. 

At the look her father flashed to her, she spoke quietly, “I need to use the bathroom.” 

One of Vic’s dogs stood and followed her across the room. She knew one of them would, they often did. The Gunners were smart enough to leave her alone, but the goon squad had no idea that she wasn’t the girl she used to be. Watching Vic interact with her only seemed to embolden them. She walked past the ghoul in the corner who had been watching her, she hadn’t even noticed. Nobody paid attention to drifters. 

The dog caught up to her before she got to the bathroom and she slowed down. Fahrenheit turned slowly to look at him as she spoke quietly, “Don’t touch me.” He laughed at her words as if they were a joke and he reached out toward her. She grabbed his hand and twisted, spinning him around to wrench his arm up behind his back. The girl grabbed a handful of his hair and slammed his face down on a table with a wet crunch of breaking bones. She let him drop to the floor and glared down at him, “I said don’t touch me.” 

Anyone else but _him_ and she’d bite.  
  


****

###  Meeting Again

****

Fahrenheit stood on the edge of her rooftop staring down past the toes of her boots to the ground far below. Funny thing about being thrown off the overpass, she was no longer afraid of falling.

Her voice was quiet as she continued to stare at the street below, “I know you’re there.”

John held his breath and moved back away from the window to hide in the dark room. He touched his jaw again, running his fingers down his neck with a quiet sigh. _He wasn’t that coward any longer._ He took a deep breath and stepped forward. Resting his arms on the sill of the window, John stuck his head out just enough to be barely seen in the shadows. He had no idea what to say to her. 

She stepped back from the ledge and turned to face him. Fahrenheit paused and stared quietly with an unreadable expression on her moonlit face as she regarded the stranger in the window. After several tense heartbeats, she narrowed her eyes at him and spoke, “Who are you?”

He laughed to himself as the memory of their very first meeting played out in his head. He smiled, “John.” 

Her voice echoed back, “John…?” The single word was flooded with uncertainty.

Tilting his head in thought he spoke casually, “There was a silly damn bird called a phoenix, every few hundred years he built a pyre and burnt himself up. He must have been the first cousin to Man. But every time he burnt himself up he sprang out of the ashes, he got himself born all over again.”

Her eyes widened in quiet disbelief as the ghoul in the window quoted Fahrenheit 451 to her. He carefully climbed out the window and dropped silently onto the rooftop, several feet from where she stood. She looked him up and down, struggling with confusion. 

John spread his hands out and quoted further, “You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. When I said something about the moon, you looked at the moon..”

Fahrenheit furrowed her brow and carefully finished, “The others would never do that. The others would walk off and leave me talking. Or threaten me. No one has time anymore for anyone else. You're one of the few who put up with me.” She stepped forward, “John? How…?”

He glanced down at himself, “A lot can happen in a year.” 

She nodded and let out a quiet breath, “Yeah...A lot can happen in a year.”

Her arm moved slightly as if to reach out to him, but she stopped herself. “Does it...hurt?” 

“Only when I’m awake.” He never slept anymore. “Not nearly as bad as it did.” He tilted his head and frowned at the burn on her cheek. 

“It was a gift.” She noticed his concern and gave an indifferent shrug, “I’ll pay her back one day.”

He nodded in understanding and moved up next to her. “Fahren...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She turned and sat down on the ledge of the roof. glancing up at him, she patted the cement next to her with a half smile.

John sat down beside her and looked down over the town. “Well, I am. I feel like shit for just standing by all that time...I feel even worse for running.”

Her eyes fell on one of her father’s dogs in the street as he drunkenly shoved a drifter out of his way. “No use sitting around feeling sorry about the past.” Her voice grew quiet as if in thought, “Learn from it and use it.”

He eyed the same scene below and gave a nod, “That’s what I’m working on.” 

They sat in silence for some time before Fahrenheit reached around her back and pulled off her combat knife. She held it for a moment in her hands, taking the blade from the sheath to examine it. She gave a little mirthless laugh as she set it back in the leather and handed it to John. “Take this.” At his questioning look she shrugged again, “It was another gift.”

John shook his head, “Think you need a weapon more than me…”

She laughed softly, “Not my style. Besides, your knife is a piece of shit.” 

That laugh was music to his ears. He smirked, “Yeah well...it was...I broke that knife.” He took the weapon from her and slid it out from the black leather. It was a beautiful eight-inch blade with perfect weight and balance. 

Vic’s drunken voice pierced the night air, “Liliana!” 

John’s eyes fell on Fahrenheit and he held his breath. This was the part where she would jump to her feet and scamper away. _But she didn’t._ She rolled her eyes and took a good amount of time getting to her feet. Her father bellowed again and she didn’t even flinch. She dusted off the seat of her pants casually and smiled down at John. “I missed you.” 

He stood up and smiled back, “I missed you, too.” He was slightly self-conscious of his appearance at first, but that look she gave him made everything feel as though life had been just like this since forever. She didn’t ask questions, she had just accepted him and whatever reasons or flimsy excuses he had. 

They were friends and no amount of time apart or changes in their lives would ever take that away.  
  


****

###  Good Deal

****

“Nice weapon, kiddo.” Daisy leaned on the counter and motioned casually with her hand.

Hancock ran his thumb sideways over the sharp blade and nodded in agreement. He was already greatly attached to the knife Fahren had given him. Funny how they had gone from playing board games and reading books to her arming him. 

The brown haired ghoul gave a little grin, “Good thing to have, if you’re gunna to continue to stir the hornet’s nest around here.”

He smirked as he sheathed the knife under his jacket, “Yeah...I imagine so.” 

John wondered if Daisy knew that the redheaded Gunner that was part of the raid on her caravan was Fahrenheit. He had a suspicion that the ghoul knew, but she never said a word about it. That was how he’d like to keep things. If Fahren never found out he was a part of that caravan he would die happy. He had taken up residence in the upstairs of Daisy’s shop, along with Ham and a couple others, in order to keep the place safe. That and he really didn’t want to be caught alone by the asshole with the swatter and his buddies. 

It was just a matter of time until they got around to coming back to the place, however. 

_And today would be it._

A group of them came from around the corner. Lead dog carrying his barbed swatter, three dumb fuck dogs and Fahrenheit behind them. Vic had given her back the armor she arrived with. The metal chest plate and arm guards made her look much larger and more imposing. John crossed his arms and turned to face them defiantly as they approached. His mind wandered back to the time Fahren had hit him. He thought about all those times Vic had used her beat drifters. Hancock never figured he would be on the receiving end of that shit stick. Not like this. 

_Not like this._

He heard Ham and two other ghouls come down the stairs and pause in the back. Their fear was almost palpable. John felt much better with the knife tucked away in his jacket, but there was still a pretty big damn knot in the pit of his stomach. 

Daisy stood up and placed her hands on the counter next to him. She looked much more comfortable than he felt as she spoke to the group, “Can I help you boys?”

Lead dog twirled the swatter in his hand and grinned, “Yeah…you can.” He made a sweeping gesture with the swatter across her countertop, “You’re new so I’m gunna give you the rundown.” He let the barbed wood drop between her hands, which she didn’t move, as he continued, “It’s pretty simple...Eighty percent of everything you make belongs to Vic so long as you’re in these walls.” 

She feigned a thoughtful look, “That doesn’t sound like a very good deal.” 

He shook his head, “That’s because it ain't a deal...It’s the way of things.” He narrowed his eyes a little, “And it ain't up for discussion.” With a curt point of the swatter to John, he cut off whatever it was she was about to say. “So next order of business...It’s time for you to come take a walk.”

Hancock worked to avoid looking at Fahrenheit who was standing quietly in the back with one hand on her hip. Her expression was unreadable, he couldn’t be sure what she was thinking. He shifted his weight slightly and dropped his hands as he spoke with a low dangerous tone, “I don’t feel much like walkin' right now. Come back some other time.”

_The goons laughed._

“You’re a funny little shit.” The man stepped forward and touched the end of the swatter against John’s chest. “It wasn’t a request.” 

Hancock glared down at the barbed wood then back up to the dog’s face. He could hear the ghouls in the back move closer to him. He had to remain strong for them. _And himself._ He took a breath and narrowed his eyes, “Then you’re gunna have to drag me outta here.” His hand moved slowly for the knife in his jacket as he stared the man down.

His eyes flit past John’s unnerving glare to the ghouls behind him, but he was emboldened by his own crew. He pulled the swatter back in a threatening gesture and flashed a wolfish grin, “Gladly…” 

“Jeffrey.” Fahrenheit’s voice sliced through the tension.

The dog snarled back at her without taking his eyes from Hancock, “Mind your place, girl.” 

She ignored his words as she spoke casually, “That isn’t what we’re here for.” 

He slowly lowered the swatter and turned to her. The other goons seemed a little off put by her sudden show of backbone and stared at her with a little apprehension. One of them cuffed her roughly on the shoulder, “Just stand there with your mouth shut and look pretty, girl.”

“I think she’s spent a little too much time off leash and needs to be reminded of where she fucking stands.” Lead dog stepped over to her and grabbed her by her chest plate. 

She allowed it, though she didn’t look away from his angry stare. 

Hancock relaxed only slightly. He was hoping she’d kick that man’s ass as she did the other in the bar. That had been impressive. She didn’t, however. She stood quietly until the dog’s fight faded from him and he shoved her backward from the shop, making the motion a silent order for them to leave.

She ran her eyes over the ghouls standing behind John then held a lingering look to him before she turned and left with the group.  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“Hancock!” Brand, one of the caravanners, nearly tripped over himself as he ran hastily up the stairs.

John sat up in the chair and held a hand out, “Calm the fuck down before ya hurt yourself.”

The ghoul pointed a finger downstairs, “That red-headed thug is here and she--”

“She ain't a thug.” Hancock cut him off with a stern look as he stood up.

Brand looked a little confused but trusted in anything Hancock said. He could tell them that the sky was purple and they wouldn’t question it. He entered the shop downstairs with Brand following timidly behind him and Ham at his side. Fahrenheit was standing nonchalantly at the counter in front of Daisy, who seemed cautious, but somewhat relaxed in her presence. 

Fahren raised an eyebrow, “I couldn’t help but notice you’ve gathered a group of followers.” 

Ham and Brand looked at one another briefly then to John. He cocked his head at her and furrowed his brow in question. 

She gave a very small hint of a smile to him, “That happens to be just what I need...”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww...Hancock's knife... <3
> 
> sorry this one took so long, i got distracted by Foxtrotting... *blushes*


	11. Never Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through their past he had remained. He taught her to laugh. He had shown her a side of herself she never knew she possessed and she loved him for it.  
>   
> 

  
  


  
_“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”_  
― C. JoyBell C.

  
  


****

###  Basics 

****

Fahrenheit crossed her arms as she regarded the group of ghouls. She spoke quietly to John, “Thought you said they knew some things…” As he shrugged she raised an eyebrow at him, “Let me guess...They know how to fight like you know how to play chess.”

He laughed, “Somethin' like that.”

Earlier that day, his group of nine milled around the assaultron’s shop, Kill or Be Killed. Fahren had greeted the thing with familiarity. KL-E-0, it’s name was, had outfitted his group with miniguns. She had lent them to Fahrenheit as a thank you that piqued Hancock’s interest greatly. He’d ask her about it later on. 

Now they all stood outside Goodneighbor in a dilapidated building.

“Guess we should start with basics.” She addressed the group, “Do any of you know how to use those weapons...with any semblance of accuracy?”

They looked at one another then all nodded.

Fahren thought to herself for a moment then motioned to the group with her hand, “I think it’s best to use tactics more suited to your...abilities.” 

Ham gave a little chuckle, “So...hiding then jumping out with bullets flying?”

Daisy snorted, “Sounds like the world’s worst surprise party.”

“Exactly.” Fahrenheit nodded to Hamton and grinned.

The ghoul furrowed his brow, “Seriously? I was joking.”  
  


  
  


****

###  Wedding Plans 

****

“My father is planning to kill your parents.” Fahren spoke with the same amount of care in her words as if she were talking about the weather.

John sighed and stared at the floor, “I know...it was inevitable.” He shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “When?”

She took a breath and sat back on the sofa, “Shortly after my union with your brother.” 

“Well then...guess we should throw a wedding party.” Hancock gave a wavering smile. 

The redhead grinned and relaxed an arm casually over the back of the couch. “Perfect.”

“Are you comfortable with this?” John motioned out the warehouse window to the statehouse.

She shrugged, “I’ve had a year to think on it.” She paused then nodded, “I’d say I’m pretty comfortable.” Fahren leveled her gaze, “Are you okay with this?”

“Honestly…” Hancock waved a hand flippantly as he relaxed back in the chair, “I’d rather ya not marry my asshole brother.” 

She nodded, “You and me both.”

John feigned hurt, “What...ya don’t wanna be a part of my family?” He grinned, “Don’t wanna be my little sister?”

She gave a quiet snort, “As much as I’ve always wanted a cocky older brother…” Fahrenheit smiled, “Think I’ll settle for being your friend.”

He shrugged, “Your loss...I happen to be an awesome brother.” 

Her father’s voice calling from outside made her roll her eyes and sigh. She made no motion to get up, however. Since her return, she usually waited for the second or third time he called before taking her time going back to the statehouse. 

A more serious expression crossed John’s face, “Been wonderin' something…” He hesitated a moment. “Your name…?”

She looked away and bit her lip for a moment before replying in a quiet tone, “It has been my greatest act of defiance. It’s similar to…” She paused. “A forbidden word.” She gave a little smile, “Every time I say it it’s a fuck you to him.” She cocked her chin in the direction of the statehouse for emphasis. 

Vic bellowed again, “Liliana!”

She stood slowly and glared out the window. “And soon it’ll be my only name.”  
  
  


****

###  For the Last Time 

****

They had started drinking the afternoon of her union and were already shit-faced and rowdy hours before the actual event would take place on the balcony.

John had taken all the drifters from the town early that morning and hid them outside town in a building guarded by KL-E-0. He wanted to make sure they were well out of Vic’s line of sight as he got completely wasted. They didn’t need to be brutalized as a part of their drunken festivities. 

To appease her father, Fahren held a whiskey bottle which she made sure to drink from every time he glanced in her direction. _It had been filled with cola._

Vic approached her with Pat under his arm as she stood against a wall. “Liliana!” He smiled at the Mayor and pat him on the shoulder, “We were just discussing children.” She forced a smile as he continued, “I expect a whole brood of boys...You can get started on that tonight.” 

She clenched her teeth behind the smile and nodded to appease him. 

Pat had also been drinking to excess. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. She did her best to appear happy about the situation. She was glad John wasn’t around to witness the act. It would have grated on his nerves enough to cause a fight. She rather liked his new persona, he was bold and protective, although she could definitely foresee his mouth getting him in trouble. Fahren made a silent pledge to herself that she’d stand by his side and keep him safe, she owed it to him for the friendship he’d shown her. Through their past...despite the time she had hit him...he had remained. He taught her to laugh. He had shown her a side of herself she never knew she possessed and she loved him for it.

The man kissed her again and smiled, “Liliana McDonough. I like the sound of that.” 

She worked hard to maintain the happy expression on her face. 

When he left her to go back to the bar she watched her father’s fake smile fade. He stepped close and touched her chin, which froze her right there in that moment. She could smell cigarette-tinged whiskey as he spoke slowly, “You will never be called McDonough.” He licked his lips as his eyes washed over her face. He grinned, “What’s your name?”

A tight knot formed in the pit of her stomach. Right now he was the sleeping giant and she didn’t want to wake him. “Liliana Svechnicov.” That would be the last time she would ever speak that name.

He dropped his hand from her chin and the knot untied. The man moved closer, “You’re mine.” He narrowed his eyes a little, though the grin remained. “Do not let that man impregnate you.” His eyes lingered on her mouth, “You’re mine and you’ll keep my bloodline.”

She winced inside at the implication. 

He cast a quick glare over his shoulder at Pat sitting at the bar then turned back to Fahrenheit. He ran his hand tenderly over her head then tangled his fingers in her hair. He pulled her head back slowly and kissed her. The taste of alcohol on his tongue lingered as he pulled back and turned from her. She immediately let the false smile fade as she watched him go. 

_Never again._  
  
  


****

###  Never Again 

****

She stood on the balcony beside Pat overlooking the completely wasted crowd of Vic’s dogs below. Her father was behind the two of them next to Pastor Clements with two of his dogs just inside the door.

The Pastor put his hands on their shoulders and smiled brightly to the loud dogs below. “If anyone objects to this union--”

Hancock and his nine jumped from the windows of the surrounding buildings and didn’t even hesitate to open fire on the crowd. 

_It was a bloody massacre._

John didn’t fire on the dogs, his focus was elsewhere. 

Fahrenheit quickly ducked down and ran into the statehouse. Her plan had been to shut the door on Vic, but he had been behind her and he moved just as Hancock fired on him. With little care, John had hit the Pastor as well as his brother as they fled to cower inside. He cussed and ran into the statehouse full of rage that the asshole had escaped him.

Upstairs, Vic immediately shut and locked the inside door and turned back to Fahren just as she cut the throat of his second dog. He grabbed her hair in a tight fist close to her scalp and jerked her head back painfully. His eyes were ablaze with an intensity she had never seen before. He grabbed her chin roughly and pressed his nails into her skin. 

_She dropped the knife in her hand and froze._

_She couldn’t do it._

_She couldn’t kill him and now she’d die for it._

_She would die by his hand just as her mother had._

_You look just like your mother._

She could see her lying on the floor, hair spilled around her head in a red halo. The light of her bright blue eyes dulled and glazed over. Her once loving smile white and waxen. 

_And then John kicked the door in and wrapped a rope around his neck._

He yanked him back away from Fahren and pulled him roughly toward the balcony. As he quickly tied the free end to the railing, Vic grabbed him by the jacket and attempted to push him over the edge. Hancock struggled against the assault for a moment before Fahrenheit drove steel into her father’s ribs from behind. She had struck him in a blind rage, uncaring of where the blade landed. It hit bone and broke off, but it was enough to make him release her friend. 

John grabbed him by the hair and shirt and threw him off the balcony. 

Vic’s neck snapped and he swung from the railing above the ghouls standing among the dead bodies below. The drifters had defied his order to stay outside of the town and they stood alongside his nine in the bloody square. 

Fahrenheit placed trembling hands on the creaking railing and peered down at the body. _Victor Svechnikov would terrorize her no longer._

_Never again._

John stepped up beside Fahren and placed a hand tenderly on her shoulder. 

The crowd below cheered. 

Hancock stared at them as they looked up to him expectantly. Fahrenheit tore her eyes from the man hanging below and glanced to John. A little smile crossed her lips as her still shaking hand motioned over the square below. “Say something to your people.”

He looked over their faces and reached a hand out toward them, “Goodneighbor is of the people...for the people.” 

_They were free._  
  
  


****

###  Reflections Pt. 2  
Epologue 

****

Hancock took Fahrenheit by the hair on the right side of her head, wrapping it around his hand twice. He drew his knife and smiled warmly down at her.

_He cut her hair and dropped it to the floor._

She let out a breath as the weight she had been carrying her whole life was finally lifted off of her very soul. 

John ran the sharp blade over the right side of her scalp, removing all the remnants of her once choking collar. 

He rested his arm around her shoulder as they stared at their reflection in a mirror, for the first time liking who was staring back. 

Fahrenheit turned her head to him and smiled. He returned the silent look of devotion shining from her eyes. 

_They were friends from the start, and they would be friends for life._  
  
  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Degrees Fanart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6806788) by [Mistress_of_Squirrels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_of_Squirrels/pseuds/Mistress_of_Squirrels)




End file.
